i told a friend who has five classes right now that he doesn’t have to do the reading. he looked at me like i was crazy. so i might have made it through years and years of not doing reading, or just skimming, or speed reading, but right now i’m stuck. i have a huge comprehensive exam coming up on basically everything i’ve ever learned in grad school, and i don’t remember a lot of it. probably because i didn’t read, sometimes didn’t do my homework, skipped a few too many classes (hurts when they’re only once a week), and sold back the books online.

(by the way, if you’re bored like i am, go to here and read this cute picture book: “The Other Side” by Istvan Banyai on Michael Salamon’s blog)

i have a study guide and i’m going over stuff, but i should have been doing this for months. i just don’t know. i have to pass this test. so i’m procrastinating to write about it. of course. i didn’t really study for the French exam, but that was different. this is a lot of theory and hoo-hah that i just don’t remember. some of it applies to me so i remember that, but the other stuff does not interest me. oh well, i guess it’s good to have it all somewhere.

so i’m putting it on another blog site i have to hopefully become rich and famous from someday. i’m not rich right now. but last night i did eat a nice rich crab-filled salmon. it was delicious. and it was with some girl friends and then it turned into a big party.

also, my best friend is engaged. and a good friend and cousin of mine as well. so many engagements like boom boom woh! it’s very exciting, but also reminds me a need to really think about that whole thing, relationships, whether i want or don’t want what from who ha!

i realize the dire straits (actually i do not. i don’t know any ‘dire straits’) but i realize being unemployed is a problem. but ron paul can help that. he is the first reason i am happy: Ron Paul’s Massive Haul.

when i’m not thinking of ron paul and hope for the future of freedom, i had time to smile at this story: a 14 year old punk kid jumps onto train tracks to save an old man, but it’s better than the movies! so cute/awesome.

and in other real-amandoo-life news i watched ratatouille. i was going to leave after five minutes but was actually hooked by the creative combination of humor and lighthearted good times without too much ‘fromage‘. it also had enough french flair that it reminded me of the unexpected joys of life when you get outside your comfort zone (for me it evoked many a thought of when i lived in paris as someone who happened to be american and also had the best time of my life). i recommend the movie, no matter what age you are or if you think you like france, cooking, or the french,,,or not.

like nature? check out how nature creates a river through a solid asphalt road.

and another reason i’m happy? somebody from livemocha contacted me and asked me to share why i’m so enthused about them. you can see that livemocha is the best site to learn languages- hands down. and it’s free! (maybe they’ll offer me a job?!)

i’m happy. truly. i have so little money, but giving a french lesson to two adorable six year old twins is not at all like work (but it is ‘paid work’). and i like making it extra fun and engaging so they will pay attention at least long enough to learn to count to ten.

love you humanity (at least all of you with a humanity in your soul)!

what is this world coming to?

people want me to volunteer, but i have to pay the bills, the rent, the, the, the living….those loans!

HIRE ME!!!

i wasn’t even nervous when i went recently for my first real teaching job interview. fine, maybe i was a little nervous. but the secret was that i didn’t find out i was having it until the night before. plus, i knew i wanted a job in the field of education and it sounded just perfect enough to transcend me up, up, up, and away from my current state of boredworkdum.

then i realized that i couldn’t teach full time all of a sudden after barely having taught at all, and the double standard is that i would have to demand tons of money (it was a full time teaching job with five french classes a day) and i haven’t had much ‘real’ teaching experience so i can’t demand a ton of money.

not to mention i know i should just be patient and wait until i have my teaching certificate and masters degree so i can ask for righteously large amounts of money.

it’s just hard to wait. but now i’m not nervous about teaching interviews- it was relaxed, went smoothly enough (even though i inverted two words at one point), and i felt genuine which is very nice when you are trying to get a full-time jobby.

now i’m nervous in my stomach. not sure what job i’m going to get or do (though i still currently have my two jobs, i am ending both by mid-october), and i really want an education teaching tutoring type sort of thang. i think i can find it. craigslist is a great place to look (for some stuff).

anywho, the point is this, you never know what’s going to come of the future. there is no need to be overly nervous, a bit is good, but you go with your gut. your instinct. theory and research are good too, you have to know your stuff, but in the end for me it’s always about intuition and feeling. that’s me. that’s a lot of people too.

boring post. sorry.

indeed i missed the exact two-year bloggiversary, but you can still catch up on my life present minus two years here, what i think is funniest is that i was actually really crazy crazy then. now i’m just plain crazy and that’s the difference.

why crying? why not! i am going to try and not cry all month, starting today. it might be awesome or painful. but i’m certainly crying–=—=—=—–my laptop is dead!!! after writing about it getting burned and being okay and all. i recently got a new battery and a new power cord, but the pin just went. the internal pin thing. and it is dead, with no charge, and almost no way of charging it. now i can’t write blogs at all and every and odd off-hours. ’tis the sorrowful reason i did not write on the exact two-year dativersary of my boggy, and i was just getting so excited about bloggistorms.

i have so much more to say, but not the time nor place, as i have not a laptop space oh woh is me!!!

(p.s. i am kind of inspired to try even harder and maybe have a one-day 24-hour blogathon to raise money for the repair. i’ll keep you posted!)

i feel like my blogs have been boring and depressing of late. maybe that’s how i feel about myself of late. well, i am sort of done school after tonight. sort of. it’s hard to say because a- i have not studied at all for my final, b- i’m not done some other schoolwork and c- i will still be taking an intensive summer course so whooptie-do(ne). yeah right. i will cherish up that sweet time off school, those few weeks, where, i, work.

i love eating lots of carrot juice and coffee juice and they seem to think fondly of me too. i freak out so easily. both good and bad. i think it’s all the coffee or the huggable delusions. i really leally love animals that i never see anymore. i’m random. it’s the #$%^&.

speaking of my profound sadness, melancholy, and woe, i agree with what everyone has been saying. but here is my proposal (and ps propose to me please)- there is almost nothing worse than being ‘broken up with’ by someone you ‘love’. (besides death, trauma, all those other nasty occurrences). but for your heart and relationships? it’s the worst.

because first of all, you have to get over something that you may have little reason and probably little motivation as well to do. then, you have the fact that who has the time or desire to go through all those negative and unpleasant feelings and the crying and the whatnot and hoo haa. then you have to deal with the fact that the breaker is all freakin fine and dandy and not to mention happily moving on to other things (and possibly people). (oh my sick murder of Teletubbies) and everyone else is randomly or occasionally sympathetic but what can they do besides that for a bit? and what can you do in mean(pain)time?

shove it! or shovel yourself into a tunnel of a new fake life! girls- go out there, get a fake tan, hang out with some other pre-second-decade-of-life carefree skincleave-exposing hotties who know where to find the best treats and to later groupuke them up (both food and hot boys) guys- keep shoving it and get a new video game or electronic device.

wow. i suck at pretending. and at making fun of people i hate. (and love)