Ludacris – One More Drink ft. T-Pain – Ludicrous video!

[youtube tzZFE-9gb7Q]

I was actually watching “Money Maker” because I love the beginning drum/symphonic beat. And it’s hilarious. Then I was led to “One More Drink.” Don’t think I’d heard it before. Never seen the video.

It was redonk.

Luda goes to a DDA meeting (Drinkers & Daters Anonymous). He tells a story about drinking, getting beer goggles, and taking a lady home, who ends up biting his arm off.

His music videos are CRUNK.

I hate to admit I love them.

This story is SO ridiculous that’s it’s hilarious.

Also, I did not know T-Pain looked like that. But I guess a lot of famous rappers are pretty ugly, ‘specially in the face/teeth area! (Which is ironic, they make fun of a girl in the vid that has a “gap tooth and a mean overbite”) I guess that’s why they get those grills, to cover up some nasty teeth!

Good times. Funny video. Worth a watch, not a bad song. Whatevs. It’s all good, I always love Ludacris against better judgment.

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“Don’t You Worry Child” Dad!? Did you write that song for me from beyond the grave?!

[youtube r1MN4pR5wXM]

This is pretty cute. My brother was about to run a marathon last weekend, and I texted my tween half-sister about it to tell her to pray for him. She, wise beyond her years, said he’ll do fine, Dad’s watching over him, and I found out via my brother she’d also mentioned the song: “Don’t You Worry Child” by Swedish House Mafia. She told him to listen to it.

There was a time, I used to look into my father’s eyes
In a happy home, I was a king I had a gold throne
Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall
I hear the sounds from the places where I was born

Up on the hill across the blue lake,
thats where I had my first heart break
I still remember how it all changed
my father said
Don’t you worry, don’t you worry child
See heaven’s got a plan for you
Don’t you worry, don’t you worry now

I had sort of heard the song on the radio already and liked it. HOWEVER, I had not carefully listened to the lyrics. Of course I looked it up and listened…and cried. It was a great song.
Believing in an heaven has been one of the only positive things in the aftermath of losing my father and a sister within 4 months of each other!
It’s very reassuring to believe in an afterlife and to know I’ll see my father there, and in the meanwhile he is looking over me. I do, can, and will yearn for the past, but more and more often (over a year later) I am able to find some enjoyment in the present and some comfort in people I love, living around me.

What a mature, sweet thing my lil ‘sis’ said to my brother. I’m glad we’re all in this together, and learning to live anew, a life we certainly would not have chosen, but now finding beauty and joy again more frequently.

So, in conclusion, I think my dad convinced Swedish House Mafia to write that song to console both the older siblings and the young ones- it’s a song that can be appreciated by both young and old. That, and I wasn’t embarrassed to hear that she’d recommended that as opposed to when they were innocently singing “Whistle” by Flo Rida. Ha.

I miss you every day, father of mine!

Posted in Death of a Family Member, Lettin' Loose! | Leave a comment

pinterest addict

my pinterest pin
(a pin i made when i first joined)

i recently got addicted to pinterest, even though i’d joined years ago when it first started and didn’t really care for it. it might be because of any or all of these reasons that i love it NOW:
1) i understand it better. click on the picture to go to the link. (of COURSE i knew that! but, you know, it could help someone out there who doesn’t get that yet)
2) i have way more time. since my boyfriend and i are not in the same location, i have more time. and, i don’t have as much job as i’d like, so i have enough time to browse, compile, share, etc…maybe even time to DO the pins?!
3) i do want to do the pins. i’m getting more homey, and at the same time thrifty! i’m collecting recipes and workout moves, which are useful in any stage of life. i’m also peeking at wedding and kid stuff, which is useful/fun to daydream. whatever. good quotes, tips, crafts, and a lot of other stuff i could do. and will!

so maybe i’ve only done a few of the hundreds of pins i’ve put up, and maybe i’m annoying people by posting so much (see pinterest etiquette), but i am sharing and spreading the joy. it’s great.

alas…i’m guessing it will probably just be a phase. soon i won’t go on/care. maybe. i mean, my working out phase didn’t and will not end! 🙂

this is one of my new favorite HaHa ones! (great quote)

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coming up on another “deathaversary”

you say “deathiversary” i say “deathaversary

in any case, we’re coming up on the 2nd one. the 1st one year anniversary of my father’s passing. (yes, tear, i did already survive 2 deathaversary’s for my sister).

i feel so sad for people who lose fathers very young (or either parent of course), and also for people who don’t have a father present in their lives. i am incredibly, indescribably sad about losing my dad, i think of him ALL the time (especially lately), but i am also very grateful to have had him as my father. i am so lucky. he was a really wonderful man.

and we got to work through some of that tough stuff people want to later on in life. i started doing that a while back though, because i had heard of people having issues with their parents, and i thought i should work on mine to be more perfect. it may or may not have worked. but i am SO lucky to say it ended on a very positive note, me feeling reaffirmed and loved and gifted with an approving blessing- he did finally come to peace with me not being a teacher and said he was proud of me no matter what


anyway, this deathaversary comes at a tough time. i’m moving. and busy. but that’s life. that’s why some people have severe anniversary reactions, not being aware and whatnot. well, i’m too aware sometimes. and it’s just not pleasant. still hard to believe.

i hear the second year is worse. but. that’s just what someone said. i think it will and won’t be. it’ll be life. i’m pretty optimistic. and, to be completely honest, i have struggled with myself telling myself i need to “move on” after a year, imagining most people saying that.

but you never “move on” from losing a loved family member, you move forward, different than before, forever altered. it might get easier. sure it has in some ways. but in other ways it has not. it’s hard to balance feeling like you’re moving forward with not compromising losing the memories of them. and don’t try telling me “you’ll always have the memories” or “they’ll live on in your heart/dreams” if you’ve lost a beloved family member, you know.

Posted in Death of a Family Member | Leave a comment

a second blog because it’s a second move

when i saw the picture from my previous blog entry on moving, i laughed out loud, in a maniacal way which has been the norm lately, and suddenly felt much better about my move this time around.

what’s annoying me currently is a COMPLETE, TOTAL, AND UTTER lack of motivation. save the fact i might have a special someone in my life, coming back to this area soon, and will want to be all moved in and not worrying about all this stuff. but i have no motivation. maybe it’s the time of year. maybe it’s just having moved. maybe it’s all too much. oh, and the fact that i live on the 3rd floor! well, on the bright side, at least i’m getting in good workouts.

and it’s more incentive for people to help me because this time my stuff is going downstairs, instead of up all these stairs, in the heat.


it’s redonk.

Posted in Just Plain Crazy, Lettin' Loose! | Leave a comment

“I Feel Like I’m Taking Crazy Pills!” – moving for the second time in less than 3 months

This is the 2nd time I’m moving, and I basically found out I’d have to move less than a month after I’d done my first move. I moved in with a friend/family, and they found a better opportunity, so they had to move to, but now I’m dragging my feet with the process of moving.

Going through some of the same stuff I was when I was going through my stuff before :-p (sad face actually, it’s been a bit overwhelming, for more reasons than I care to think about right now). I am a bit of a packrat (which is a nice way of putting it/denying you’re a hoarder), and I don’t want to get rid of anything sentimental because the deaths have maybe given me a little post-traumatic stress disorder.

If the deaths and the moving and the change in job and even more! didn’t, then the surrealistic nightmare of dealing with bed bugs did. But that’s for my next blog!

(There it is- a room in my old apt. (this was the first move), when I tried to get ready to pack/move suddenly the mess took on a life of its own!)

Posted in Real Crazy Crazy | 1 Comment

Does “Time Heal All Wounds” f’real, or do you just have to stuff them further into the depths of your despair?!?

Doing my research for this post (that I decided to do on a whim because I’m having a “I’m a good blogger” day, and, by research I mean googling the cliche phrase in the title), I found an article from Psychology Today entitled “Time Heals all Wounds, or Does It?” It was perfectly on point- interesting the topic discussed in it was grieving the loss of a parent.
Let’s apply this phrase to grief/loss, whether that be a loved one dying or a loss of something integral to ones identity (e.g. relationship or job), as I think that’s how it’s most poignantly used, and herein contemplated.

The article essentially said that what’s more important than the amount of time is what you do with the time that passes.

I think this is very true, in reading about grieving. And in my experience with grief. The time of year, anniversaries, and birthdays that have come up or are shortly upcoming for me have been a bit too much to deal with. I literally cannot allow all the pain to come into my being. It is too much to fathom.

Sometimes (inevitably, to function in life) you walk around the sea of grief, sometimes (quite often, especially at first) you struggle while swimming and sometimes (much less often) you sail through it. Sometimes I wish this sea was a cocktail and I could drink it gingerly (and without repercussion) as I go.
You can drown in it. It’s an accomplishment just to stay afloat. A lot of people do “drown their sorrows”, doing whatever escaping they can to avoid it. (There is a difference between temporarily ‘avoiding’ it out of necessity, and just plain denying it).

The article talked about a woman who delved into her job, overachieving there, and as her wedding approached, she realizes she is avoiding grieving her father’s death, and she can’t go on as she had been (sort of obsessively making everything seem perfect while not at all dealing and healing).

Healing is a weird thing. It’s hard to do. Part of my grieving and healing involves allowing myself to feel my emotions when they come up as much as possible. Sometimes I can’t cry at the moment, but, it’ll inevitably come back. Sometimes I remind myself I don’t need to focus on the grief, it’ll pop up, and that I need to live more in the present and focus on rebuilding my life as I gain more hope for a ‘joyful’ future.

It has almost been a year since I lost my sister unexpectedly. But then after that, was a whole quick recurrence of cancer in my father that swiftly took his life. So I’m thinking a lot about both of them, and, two losses is two too much. It’s just too much.

But I’m alive. And I have to deal. And I have a choice of how I deal. F’real.

In conclusion, I think in a way you never fully recover from losing a dearly beloved. The pain and sadness are different over time, but, your wound has a good chance of being re-opened and closed until your own death. It’s not a bad thing and I don’t mean it as a pessimistic thought. I just don’t think humans are made to understand death of a loved one fully. I personally think religious beliefs do help, and I am happy to be consoled somewhat by my thoughts and beliefs.

But it doesn’t make sense sometimes, and that’s okay. A lot of things in life will never make sense. And that’s also a reason why I love life- it’s weird, just like me!

Here’s what Dwight Schrute thinks about this quote!

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American Society is a Disgusting Place (in a lot of places) Today

Well, I’m specifically referring to the prescription drug and “health” industry. If you know anything, you know it’s b@#$%^&t. For example, I just learned about an elderly gentleman who pays “over $700 dollars for three months of Niaspan”! (That’s just one of his over-a-dozen medications!)

1) You shouldn’t even be paying that much for all of your medications combined, ever. And the elderly are taking sometimes between 10-20 (or even more!) prescribed medications!

2) That is SO ludicrous because niaspan is just niacin. Niacin, also known as vitamin B3, is naturally occurring in many healthy foods. However, lack of niacin can cause depression and other bad things, so it’s important to get enough, but paying for a prescription…and that much?! Ugh, disgusts me soo much!

3) Just like so many other prescription drugs, especially the absurd ones like prescription-strength fish oil (Lovaza) etc., niaspan was proven in a recent trial to have no significant cardiovascular benefits, probably because they are prescribing so many other harsh and harmful drugs.

4) I have heard about stuff like this time and again, and I only work with a small number of people. It is out of control. 2 year olds are getting prescribed stuff.

Anyway, that’s my rant for now. But I heard that quote and had to write something. Money-making-scammin is at an all-time high. No wonder we can’t work out something in the govy budget with healthcare- people are too expensive to insure because the American healthcare industry is full of pill-popping-prescription-dropping-money-making-reality-escaping-havoc!

Posted in Food, Drink, and Health, Intriguing, Interesting, or Impressive, Just Plain Crazy, Lettin' Loose!, Real Crazy Crazy, ways to save a buck or two | Leave a comment

Zion I – Mind Over Matter – “Revolution”

Zion I – Mind Over Matter – Revolution

Bass: Awesome

Lyrics: Tasty

Overall sound and feel: Delish

Unfortunately, the sound quality is terrible (even more so than regular non-official youtube music vids), but you can get the idea.
[youtube VFtrti_qgLM]

I was listening through some old underground hip hop music I have, and I heard this song, and fell in love again. I mean, I am planning on becoming a b-girl after all. So, it’s fitting. And maybe I’ll come up with a system for reviewing hip hop songs that’s more coherent and user-friendly, AND consistent!

Stay tuned. Not too closely…

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Breakin 2 : Electric Boogalo

umm…all i can say right now is, that, i watched the movie

Breakin 2 : Electric Boogalo

[youtube QiVrb8GPvtA]

it was nothing short of not only just amazing, but, it has immediately jumped in the ranks to maybe one of my favorite movies ever. here are some of the components that make it such a killa’:

-80’s apparel
-old school classic 80’s plot-esque plot
-bad (ass) acting. yup. it’s so ridiculous you don’t know if it’s good or bad

mmm…can’t wait to watch the original?! breakin’

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