Hip-hop, Running, Hot Sauce

Can you believe I listened to this song as a kid?!

*Warning- most of you who know me in person should not listen to this song. it will scare you. but those of you who are my true, humour-appreciating friends, you might like it.*

Good thing I didn’t take it as serious advice or anything.

But I am preeeetttty geh toe.

Right.

I’m laughing, out loud.

Blog, Help Me! You’re the Only One Out There!

I just mad stalked facebook for a few hours while watching a TERRIBLE show on E! about celebrity plastic surgery jobs. Wow, what a way to spend time, right?!

And then I continued to facestalk, and I just refreshed a few times, and I noticed…..

….you ready for it?….

…..not one of my nearly 500 friends had put up a status update in the last hour……I was in shock.

I couldn’t believe it. Surely my internet must not be working right, or, more likely, facebook isn’t up to speed on all of those tasty status updates I’m missing out on.

And then I realized what a fool I’ve become. My last status update only got 1 like, and comments from my mom. I had to delete it (no offense, mom!).

I will readily admit that I’m going through rough times (read breakup reality setting in). And then, I will not admit anything- hello! I am a happy, funny person. And that’s not funny, because it’s obvious I’m being spasmodic.

In conclusion, I am so happy that spasmodic is a word, and even though the idealist, perfectionist side of me screams “your blogging skills have sucked hard lately, you’re falling into the ‘Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few’ demotivator category”, and another part says, “hey, this is my life right now, telling myself i do need to go out elst i’ll have a terrible evening by myself obsessively refreshing FB for new pics? new quotes? new links?” this is me. i capitalize sometimes, and many times i don’t. depends on how fast i want to put this blap out there.

love you, readers. this is life, it has its ups and downs, baby.

i’m suffering seriously. i see no point in blogging about it. i’m not even going to get into it.

i just wish many months would have passed. instead, i have to exist and persist, and if i’m lucky, flourish.

let go and let God, right?

i read a Demotivator last night- CHALLENGES: i expected times like this, but i never thought they’d be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

i guess it’s comforting to think that more people than i’d think feel that way. it’s not good, but it’s a part of life. having ups and downs. and every (small) trauma gives you lessons.

but still, it’s tough.

this is part of a non-series, as my blog is, well, non-secuator if you will. (spell-check won’t).

Part 1?

Part 3?

i don’t have much rhyme or reason to what i do, but i do like rhyming. i bought a rhyming dictionary today. and i no dubitubly intend to use it. fully. freely.

depression. a catch22 of sorts. if i’m depressed i’m no fun to hang out with, and if i don’t hang out with people i’ll get depressed.

luckily, in my world, mania strikes. and when it does, it strikes cute. like a fluffy kitten. similar to that terrible song “i get crazy” (what IS up with the radio today- do not even go there- to the radio that is)(but do go to that page and check out her song and her pic. she don’t look like i woulda thought, but boy it makes me happy that she looks like that!)

i’m makin’ sense, as always. so yeah, life. there’s my perception and experience of it, and others’. and my interpretation or ideas of what others are thinkin, feelin, and doin. and i do get crazy!

-the mainstream news sickens me
-Mr. Lif is soooo inspiring, listen to I Heard it Today
-Mos Def is also awe-inspiring, and got some great social commentary, check out “The Ecstatic” NOW

and now i’m feeling some slight pressure to donate to wikipedia (check it if you haven’t been there today, all you regular daily readers of my blog).

hey, i’m not knocking myself, nor my blog, it’s all good here. i just gotta get focused.

i did volunteer, and teaching is a form of volunteering and when i am useful to others, and not wallowing in my own why-me crapulence, i can get the good type of crazy, the good type of manic, where i get stuff done, and change the world.

hollywood stars are not who you really think you want to be, i know, right?!

I wish this wasn’t so scary, so I could use it to teach my students. I started to show one last year, but some of the kids got scared. Instead of thinking it’s funny. Someday.

It’s been a while since I put up a youtube video.

It’s been a while since I did stuff. And now I have more time, so I will make my own Telefrancais show!

Yeah, right. Yeah! Right!

breakups are pathetic. but why would i broadcast that? i will, and i’ll tell you why.

a) rarely does a person read this blog (prove me wrong, people!)

b) pretty much anyone who has a heart has gone through some heartbreak, be it big or small.

long-term relationship breakups suck, and in your mid-20’s, you usually have created a whole lifestyle with a person. they are your boyfriend/girlfriend, and your best friend.

and for me, most of my friends are married or dating someone seriously.

i guess i have to hang out with single friends, and make an effort to indeed spend time with other friends too. biggest goals:

1) See people- spend time with them

2) Do things- keep my mind occupied

if i succeed in these things, then i will achieve number 3

3) Not Ex-Boyfriend- thinking about and/or anything else about will no longer be an issue

i usually do a good job of not getting too into my personal life, but, it’s all i have to think about right now. and i have already put some good spins on things, it will be a good chance for all the #1 & #2’s i’ve been neglecting or making excuses about.

and everything happens for a reason. and it will get easier. and so on and on.

but it hurts, and it gets me emotional. which brings me to the title of this post. due to the circumstances, and having to readjust to what i’m going to do/who i’m going to spend time with or not, etcetera…

i feel pathetic.

pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. i’ll do a little of both, most likely. and pain is a reminder to live in the present. and blog!

Wouldn’t it be great if I were writing a post relating to that title?

Were I to do so, I’d only be recycling what many other people have said, so instead I’ll just take this time to take some time to rant and rave.

It is funny the way we might talk to someone and then go check out their facebook profile, or add them so we can do so.

I did have someone admit to FB stalking me (she was a girl who is an acquaintance), and I definitely am a culprit of this too. I know way more about people than they might think. Or do they not think that?

Whatever you put out there, people will find. Sometimes the right people, sometimes just people. Random people. Whatever. I get so flabbergasted by life, on the regular, that I go through binges of updating heavily to not, or fluctuate between trying to reserve some privacy and intimacy, and not.

I have emotions, and I share them on social networking sites. I tried to recently share that I’m now “single”, but it didn’t show up in the news feed. So now where does it go? Off into lost space and time, and only people who really want to know about me might perchance see that in my “information” it says that I’m single.

In conclusion, and not necessarily rightfully so, SN has changed our lives. And you can put on a pretty face on facebook, but everyone knows what it’s like in real life too. It definitely compounds the complexities of interactions, and who knows about pokes!, but I think it’s good overall. Because, let’s face it, it’s entertainment.

It’s when you find it boring that you know you’ve got a problem, and that you need to get back out there, into the world, and actually interact with these people.

Happy Thanksgiving, folks!

Love. Over. Gone. Lost. Why. Heart. Power. Disbelief. Rage. Upset. Crying. Overwhelming. Hatred. Anger. Sadness. Agony. Anxiety. Anguish.

Too much. Too soon. Cheesy grossness. Profound melancholy.

Buckets of tears. Mountains of emotions.

Wanting to move on. This will take forever.

I don’t have the time, (nor the energy). Poetry is not for me.

Et cetera. Breakups are the worst, especially when they are from hella long-term relationships.

Everyone is doing this “What are you thankful for” thing on facebook for their status updates. The weird thing to me was that when it started going around, it said something like “it’ll get harder as you go along”. This is only for less than a month people are doing it. I believe that once you actively start being thankful for things, you find more and more to be thankful for.

I’m so thankful to be capable of running this half-marathon (we’ll see how well I do after tomorrow early in the morn!). I’m also thankful for being able to have the time to train for it (though I didn’t train as much as I’d wanted, I did a good job nonetheless). I’m thankful for motivation, inspiration, determination, and this goal. Thankful to my mother for her good example (she is over 50 and ran 50 miles recently!)

So much has happened in my life since I signed up to run the 1/2 marathon. Many difficult things (the most difficult was the diagnosis of my father with stage IV lung cancer) including a few funerals and some personal tough times. But, that said, the running has made me happier through it. It’s gotten me out of many a depressing day’s funk. And it’s made me feel better about myself. All of the stuff they say about it is true. And yes, it was rough at times, and it is tough on your body, but it’s wonderful.

I enjoyed picking up my race packet (I’m thankful that my mom and I figured that out this morning instead of forgetting to do that and showing up and not being able to race!!!), and I’m thankful to my good friend who went down there with me.

I could go on and on being thankful, also for the recent good news that my dad’s CT scan showed significant shrinkage in the cancerous nodules (woohoo!), but I need to get things in order and go to bed.

I just wanted to share how much I’m grateful for (thankful for a nice family dinner tonight), and how excited I am to be here, night before race day. I’m not too nervous, a little worried about getting to bed at a decent hour, but I’ma settle down to a nice movie and drink some sleepy tea.

Woohoo…it’s almost Thanksgiving. Did I forget to mention I’m very thankful that I’ll have a few days off of school soon?!?!?

Randomly searching through hulu shows and looking for something new, I found “Dorm Life“. Sadly, I’ve watched through all the available episodes, and rather quickly, I might add, but it was worth it, and now I will extol its wonders. Why is it the best thing ever (up there with Always Sunny in Philly and the like), well, here are a few of my favorite reasons:

1) the characters (Shane, Steph, Britt and Courtney, on&on- they are ALL amazing). Shane especially- always wearing a “My Friend Sam is 50″ shirt and having a great laugh but they evolve and are perfect. They really grow on you and are likable anyway, right from the start.

2) the length they’re only 5 minutes long, and once you start watching you can’t stop. then you get really excited when you get to some 8 minute ones and the 11 and 15 minute ones are buried treasure.

3) comedic content out of control hilarity. sooo funny. at first i was worried it would seem contrived, but it was funny and held up to my high standards. i was very impressed.

4) wit it’s more than just funny, and it’s even subtle at times. it’s a whole bag of wonder, when you get to know the characters and you notice the little things, which is easy in such short episodes which you could watch again if you wanted!

5) i can’t stop thinking about it and my life is better for having seen it i’m not kidding. my life will never be the same after watching it. it was inspiring, as well as hilarious. and, as any good comedy show does, they threw in some touching stuff to make it feel all warm and humany. and not too much like the office (haha jk office fans, i’ll catch up with that sometime…maybe). i will be laughing at a vague idea or feeling in my head and realize it was something from dorm life. i miss it, but ’tis better to have watched and stopped than to not have watched at all!

GO WATCH SOME DORM LIFE!