Preparing for #nanowrimo – By procrastinating until the last second!

#nanowrimo, hashtag short for National Novel Writing Month, has become my favorite new lil word. will be all month. if i stick to this project! 🙂

i plan on writing a novel in november (at least 50,000 words), and will do it by just that- doing it. writing.

a lot of people have blogs posts with titles like “7 tips for prepping for nanowrimo” and the like…for example “How to Survive NaNoWriMo – 7 tips to keep going” (so many tweets have been posted since I read that article like 2 hours ago it’s deeply buried.

this blog post is part of my continued procrastination (i don’t have a novel outline, let alone a solid idea of what i’m going to write about (in my defense, because, all the writing brainstorming i’ve ever done was for a non-fiction autobiography/memoir), but i think my genre will be a fictionalized memoir, and, if i’m lucky, maybe of the humor genre.

and the twitosphere is blowing up with all these writers abuzz on social media- a pre-self-publishing of sorts, and i will be guilty of “publishing” many tweets during this period i’m sure.

i think a work of fiction will be fun for me, as i’m usually so heady (too much ruminating!). my brain will need to work for me this month, but my creativity can flourish as i explore characters and plotlines previously unbeknownst.

how to prepare for national novel writing month? (spoiler alert- i won’t ever get to it, i’m not a concrete/organized type)

it depends on your personality type. being a writer is almost synonymous with being a procrastinator. so a lot of people, as i’ve even already seen evidence of since #nanowrimo has started in the east and now even mountain time zone, are starting off by just writing. they may have a vague idea, or perhaps even not, like how you just have to run to remind yourself you like running and it both feels and IS good for you.

i love writing all my silly, disorganized blog posts. writing for #nanowrimo will be similar to that. the much-needed editing will come later. (probably)(i’m a master procrastinator). BUT! it will! This is the TIME!!! “IF NOT NOW, WHEN?!”

i have support from the masses of people online doing it, and my local group in monterey, ca, and i am greatly looking forward to this month will bring. sure, excuses might come up, but no excuse is really valid to not find time to write at least 1,667 words a day, average, for me, because i’ve helped myself prep for nanowrimo in these three ways:

I
1) don’t have a job 2) don’t have kids 3) don’t go to school

so then, you ask, what am I doing? WRITING. THAT’S WHAT.

I PLEDGE TO WRITE LIKE IT’S MY JOB. SO HELP ME #NANOWRIMO.

well, hopefully, unless it becomes another one of these. but it hasn’t started yet. and to plan, in conclusion, i have also done the following:

1) drank caffeinated iced tea at a late dinner (not on purpose, but probably subconsciously!)
2) distracted myself by watching some good (and bad!) TV/movies (currently from dusk til dawn)
3) “warmed up” by writing a blog post that’s about 1/3 the length of what i’m planning to kickstart my month of intensive writing with. i’m going for at least 1,000 words (they do have to shape themselves into a direction at some point, i’m thinking), and i am warmed up- i love me some ADD-esque blog posting!

final thoughts:

-God help us all, those doing #nanowrimo

-May I find the strength to average at least 1700 words a day (approx.) because I am, after all, going to WRITE like it’s my JOB! The strength and the perseverance and the motivation that comes from the pen to paper rolling momentum (and I know there will definitely be a few days I won’t want to/won’t write anything!)

-Most importantly, just as with my favorite sport of golf, it’s all about ME beating my own personal record. It’s not about fame and fortune (though of course I wouldn’t mind and do hope for those a lil). It’s also not about making myself appear like something I’m not- a human who has their shit together. I am leading a less-drama-filled-life-than-ever-before and I really like that and see benefits, but I remember what’s important. To live in the present, and be aware, and think critically about things- for myself! So I shouldn’t get totally distracted by other people’s postings and tweets or feel competitive. Just enjoy the company. Just like with anything in life, there will always be people “better” at writing than me, and also people “worse” at it. It’s all relative. Now go have fun and WRITE!

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Starting and Stopping Projects

Now that I have a little more spare time (okay, a lot! a whole lot, like no job a lot!), I’ve been thinking of revamping my blog. However, I vacillate between wanting to start a new one under a different domain name (fearing this one sounds too much like ecstasy to people) and pumping up the jam with this one and staying true to my name!

In any case, I could call this a project of mine. It definitely is, because part of what I intend to do is strengthen my writing and write, edit, and re-write blog posts. I know I’ve talked about it for years…but that’s just my personality!

You see, every time I take a Myers-Briggs test, I’m still an ENFP. And one of the first traits that comes to mind I resonate with is the whole propensity to take up many projects, only to leave them behind when something else novel comes along in this creative, easily-distracted mind.

Even this could be called a project I’ve undertaken. My electronic hoarding is due to thinking I’m going to blog about everything, or make little artworks, or memes, or something! It’s all a possible project. Here’s a simple example of one of my “MS Paint Masterpieces”:

example of a "project" of mine. on to the next one!

example of a “project” of mine. on to the next one!

So many things I want to share. Very little of it, but a resulting significant percentage nonetheless (like 6 or 16%!), will be of interest to someone out there. Well, if I’m starting to try to convince people I know how to market in the social media realm, I should perhaps start with figuring out what I myself want to do.

That is a project I first need to focus on, and FINISH IT.

UPDATE: Shoot, before I had even gotten to the end of the post, I realized I’d forgotten my point! That happens a lot, believe it. I wanted to post/talk about projects because one of my new ideas was to catalog all the books I’ve read/been reading (more likely just books from recent times and the ones that stand out in my past). Anyway, I will probably start the book list, attend to it a bit, and let it drift off into the sleepy blog world of the past. Check out my new “Books I’ve Read” page!

I think part of my problem in not, per se, “making” it blogging, is that I get excited about an idea, spew it out onto the internet, and don’t force myself to edit it/come back to it/think it through better. And no one cares to see all the boring ins and outs of the process. I do have resolve, though, if that’s what you’re wondering, as I am on the seventh day, or a week, of giving up overt sugars!

That, however is also another post I intend(ed) to link to, and prob won’t. I think I need to hardcore start pretending I’m writing to an audience that WILL INDEED read this stuff!

Posted in Intriguing, Interesting, or Impressive | 1 Comment

My teeth are crying out in pain! 2-3 months post-amalgam removal

I don’t know what is happening! Because I am aware of my body and am well-read in the arena of holistic health and amalgam removal, my reasoning is that this outrageous tooth pain could be due to eating a lot more sugar lately than I normally have (see my view on addiction– I’m addicted to sugar bad right now!). Sugar causes inflammation and decreases pain tolerance, so I guess that could be factoring in, but it’s almost unbelievable how much they hurt!

My molars that had amalgams removed are just THROBBING and PULSING in PAIN!

I took two advils and though they should be kicking in by now (probably took ’em 30 minutes ago!), the pain just got increasingly worse and worse. It is pure agony; I’ve pretty much never had anything hurt like this.

From reading, I know it’s normal to feel some pain after removal (and sometimes people even feel severe pain) but this is ridiculous. Is it because I had a cupcake earlier and then had hard green beans and chewy steak?

Are there certain foods that make your teeth hurt more with the composite filling? @#$% it hurts so bad. I am not a big pill-popper, but I am certainly going to take more painkiller. I also swished my mouth with echinacea.

It could possibly be infected. My one tooth especially. It hurts at least a few times a week. I just hope I’m not one of those people that is sensitive to the composite or something and will have continual problems because the way I feel right now I wish I had never even gotten them out!

Posted in Food, Drink, and Health | 5 Comments

Everyone’s Addicted to Something

Me and He gambling

Me and He gambling

Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, or sex, gambling, shopping, overeating, or something seemingly less destructive, like gossiping or, say, watching TV, virtually everyone has an addiction.

Even things like sugar can be pretty destructive.

You can be addicted to “good” things too, like exercise, but it can go awry.

It’s the whole “addiction” aspect that makes it bad. I have a friend who works in recovery who said he thinks you’re either an addict or you’re not. I didn’t really agree, I think people are addicted to things on a spectrum, like even work or looks or sports, and it’s a fine line between loving or using something a lot, and being addicted.

I mean, I think you can even be addicted to being an addict, or be addicted to the addiction and recovery circuit. Sure, it comes down to definition whether it’s good or bad and how to define what exactly addiction is.

My point is pretty much everyone is addicted to one thing or another, and almost anything can become bad if it’s too much. Someone in my family is way into triathlons, marathons, and all that, and I think those people can go way overboard sometimes, saying that pain is a part of it. No, pain should not be a normal part of something, IMO. I did that half-marathon and will never do a marathon because it was time-consuming, painful, and not worth the “runner’s high” to risk trying to train for and do twice that (26.2 miles). Yuck.

I just think it’s weird when people talk about or treat others with disdain for being an addict. Because they’re most likely one too, just to different things. What does matter on a global perspective is how we treat each other, the actions we take, and our intentions. If a “drug addict” is stealing and acting immoral, that’s bad and unacceptable. If someone is watching too much TV and neglecting to-do lists or worse yet, relationships, then that entertainment becomes a problem. The addictions so many people suffer from hurt them most, on a personal level, so it’s hard sometimes to see it as an addiction they would need help with.

I was just thinking today, sometimes I suspect I’m not the foodie I’d like to imagine I am. I might just be more of a pig (addicted to food).
But food is a tricky one, indeed. It’s something we absolutely must interact with every day.

A delicious omelette - if I ate that whole thing I'd be feeding my food addiction.

A delicious omelette – if I ate that whole thing I’d be feeding my food addiction.

I can overeat. I am more prone to overeating if I am deep in the throes of a bout of sugar addiction. I easily go in and out of being addicted to sugar. It’s really best if I minimize it. It’s not good for anyone, that’s for sure. But, that’s life. Sugar is everywhere and so ingrained in social patterns (every party, get together, milestone, etc.).

Everything in moderation.

Which is usually easier said than done, especially if it’s one of your addictions, say, watching a TV series to which you have access to unlimited episodes, or even critical thinking about yourself, or buying orchids or whatever.

What is the purpose of this post? I repeat: Everything in moderation. (except maybe some hard drugs or violence or whatever- stuff that’s really hurtful). And don’t beat yourself up too much if you over-indulge. And, recognize that though there may be a personality or physiological disposition to addiction, that doesn’t mean that virtually everyone couldn’t risk becoming an addict.

Posted in Food, Drink, and Health, Intriguing, Interesting, or Impressive, Just Plain Crazy, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My New Life on the West Coast

Backyard View at my new place. NBD.

Backyard View at my new place. NBD.

Uhhh…is this real life?!

I’ve been here about a month now, with the love of my life. This is the life. I still can’t believe it!

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Get More by Doing Less!

Or, Less is the New More!

There we go, a simple blog title. I always tend to over-do things. (Had a much longer and more Amandoo-like title)

But I had a revelation walking and talking to my new special man…less really is the new more, especially in terms of what you expect from yourself and in your life.

It cannot be emphasized enough how important it is to be forgiving to yourself, just as God would. We expect so @#$%ing much of ourselves and others. But a lot of people like me have ridiculously high and unrealistic expectations of themselves.

Random beautiful secret image - more on this later, oh beauteous nature.

Random beautiful secret image – more on this later, oh beauteous nature.

Sure, it’s important and critical to getting places in life and embettering yourself that you do make goals and to-do lists and complete them, bla bla bla.

But you can’t always expect so much of yourself. And compare yourself to your friends and neighbors, most importantly, in ways that do not even exist- they’re not enjoying the success you see them having achieved, they don’t have the perfect relationship, and no they certainly are not happy all (or even most) of the time!

People are humans (i.e. not perfect). That’s why we are put on earth, to learn that we will fail, and we can view “failures” as “learning opportunities” instead of placing such ugly connotations on them. They are more important than the goals that you will achieve and then get over/get back into a cycle of want/desire/not-enoughness/depression/greed/whatever-lusty-sin-etcteraetcetera…the most important learning opportunity we have is that we will have to have many of the same exact lessons brought to us in different ways before we really learn THE LESSON.

Right now, I could be in an existential crisis. Instead, I am realizing the here and now is hear and know. That just sounded good to me so I typed it. Ha. Being present really is where it’s at. An important part of awareness is realizing you will be surprised again and again by how different things are than you thought they’d be.

Change is the only thing you should let smack you in the face in life and then like it.

That’s that for now. I have sooo much more I could say on this topic, but, less is more. So I will see what else I can get up to tonight (get accomplished, so much to do, blablabla, funny-ironic that I am not taking my own advice). Well, writing this blog was an important start. My life is a rough draft, but, THIS IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL PEOPLE. Enjoy the beauty, relish the realness of life. Deal with pain appropriately. I know what I’m talking about. I’m not quite clear and eloquent at expressing it just yet, but I am getting on my way.

I love you very much.

Posted in Intriguing, Interesting, or Impressive, Just Plain Crazy, Lettin' Loose!, Real Crazy Crazy | Leave a comment

Great Expectations. Grate em like cheese, throw em out please.

I have held on to a piece of paper (oh, no, sorry not that silly post-it pictured above) with a great quote on it I maybe got from a mental hospital? That’s right, a mental hospital. Going to one and getting out and getting yourself out of the trap they could get you into with prescription drugs can save you from later mid-life crises.

It did me. So much more on that later. Or soon. Like, book stuff. But maybe I’ll just get the teasers going here. Tidbits. Words. Anyway. Quote.

“Expectations are not fixed, nor genetic. They are chosen.
Self-expectations of perfection create enormous stress because we strive so hard and can fail so often.
Treat yourself to expectations of acceptance. Choose expectations that fit the reality of who you are, how you are able to live, and what you can realistically accomplish.”

I thought it would be a famous quote, but it might have been something someone just made up. Might have been a teacher from a religion class in the past, and not even the M hospital, and then I’d have embarrassed myself by bringing that whole thing up, right? No. Wrong. I am going to have to integrate my whole lifepersonality into my blog and writing and not care so much about what other people think.

“Only God can judge me.” -Tupac?! (What a smart one. Great one.)

Anyway, at the bottom of the sheet I wrote a reminder that we have “learning opportunities, not failures”. That’s important to also keep in mind for my ego-ful accomplishy perfectiony tendency.

It’s hard to let go. It’s a lifelong learning process to let go of the impulse and addiction to egocomplishment.

I am happy I have that sheet of paper to remind me it’s ok to live, to still be grieving, or to be happy and thriving, to not have it all figured out, to know I never will, to be ok with change, and to be okay with forgetting and remembering how much change there will be and how much of an impact it can have. And to be ok with being a babbling brook of busybeebumbling.

I will hang on to that sheet. To remind me it’s okay not to have an adequately money-making career. It’s also okay to sleep in until 10 if I stayed up until 2 (try not to do that much, but…it happens).

And remember the great tea tags.

Be nicer to yourself! Most of you, anyway. There are, of course, a few who are too pompous, high, and ego-woh! But the modest, caring, loving people I mostly associate with need to cut themselves a break most.

LET GO OF INSANE UNREALISTIC SELF-EXPECTATIONS! (YES I AM YELLING. IT’S A LESSON WORTH REPEATING AGAIN AND AGAIN)

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Make fun of yourself in your saddest times. In a good way.

(previously, here lay an unflattering, sad selfie)

i did a 24-hours post breakup series of pictures. and some videos. and i might have even ventured into the week after breakup. it’s all in preparation for the unveiling of my ENTIRE LIFE ON THE INTERNET

that’s a good way to get to fame. i mean money. i’m only after money after all.

but then i think, if i had all the money in the world, what would i do?! i’d still write. and commentate. but it’d probably be travel writing. so, for now, it’s my sadsack life.

it’s not so sad. i’m weeks, practically months (i mean a month) post breakup. so it’s like, hello! but, in the event my ex or anyone associated with him reads this, out of due respect, well…humor. yeah, it’s humorous to joke about stuff.

hence the above picture. i took it amidst a SERIOUS, ALL-OUT SOB FEST. breaking up breaks hearts. and when it’s a “for the best” type thing, it sucks. and i knew from previous heartbreak, that it hurts so bad and can feel so intense while you’re in it, so why not laugh too. i did. i laughed and i cried. and repeated the cycle, varying intensity and frequency.

i hope to be sharing more soon. maybe my destiny is involved in all of this loss and heartache. it happened. now i go grow.

(previously, here lay an unflattering, but funny selfie)

Posted in L'Oventures (realationships), Lettin' Loose! | 1 Comment

Girls Season 2 Finale: “Together” Did Not Really Get its #@$% Together

I guess, considering how far out there the plotline of Girls had gotten this season, the season 2 finale of Girls ended up being passably ok. This has been a lackluster season compared to the first, with fewer relatable and laughable scenes. Some were quite disturbing. Think ear wax OCD and sexual scenario screams for help.

This episode, and sadly the culmination of the second season, just did not come together in a believable way. There were some aspects of it that were on point, like Shoshanna and Ray’s breakup, or some part of the Marnie and Charlie defining-the-relationship or the Adam and Hannah romantic-comedy-esque reconciliation. But only some parts. And very little humor and “striking home” to get by on.

It does seem weird that Marnie would be talking about having Charlie’s babies and all that. Furthermore, I definitely thought he was going to turn her down, but instead he gets sappy and romantic and it’s all kinda vomity. I could see them going back into a relationship, but not in such a quick and cheesy manner, headed to happily-ever-after-ville (I’m sure if there is a season 3 they’d have some ups and downs before heading down the aisle). It was sad of Charlie to be so “I’ll take you back” too. I mean he’s hot, young, rich, and successful. She’s just a desperate mess who’s probably going to dump him at least once more.

Adam and Hannah?! First, let me talk about something pleasant.

I did like Hannah’s pitiful message left on Jessa’s voicemail, but it was also a little ridiculous (isn’t that part of what makes the show great, though, Amandoo?!). I wondered why she never came back for the last few episodes and found out it’s probably because the actress, Jemima Kirke, is pregnant with her second child.

Jemima Kirke baby bump

I was happy to read a little bit about her (and see her pretty face again!), but it also made me miss the Jessa flair and hilare. She really added to the show and was sorely missed by everyone with a brain. I just don’t see a 3rd season. I think Lena Dunham was lucky to wrap up the second one, barely treading above water.

She has some brilliance (and just good points for young adults like the fact that you might be left alone to deal with your own OCD-induced q-tip problem, or, say, trichotillomania, for example), but at the same time, myself being on the far end of the 20-something age range, I had a hard time eating up more than half of this season’s episodes, but especially tonight’s disaster.

I think it’s a bit more “miss” than “genius”, but I also think overall Dunham is an amazing writer with some captivating insights and plot-lines. (I have a hard time being a critic like Ray was talking about (good point there!) and was worried, thinking, “What if Lena Dunham read this and felt sad?!”)

In summary, I think the season 2 finale of Girls was kind of doomed, like the book Hannah was supposed to be writing and couldn’t produce on. She wrote herself into a corner and had no way to come out but into Adam’s arms?!? I won’t even go there, it was sad and stupid, and I was disgusted (and reminded why I’m glad I’m not doe-eyed and fresh out of college) to see so many girls on twitter talking about it being romantic or “I want to find my Adam” or other stupid #$%^ like that.

I am overall unimpressed and disappointed, moreso with the season as a whole, but I certainly can’t say I wouldn’t watch a season 3, because I probably would, unless *fingers crossed* I have something better to do when I have time to waste. Mmm, train-wreck shows!

Posted in Amandoo's Reviews!, Movie Reviews | Leave a comment

because i haven’t posted in a while, i’m a creep

i went on a posting rampage, and then proceeded to stop. oh. i just remembered why. speaking of not talking about my private life! let’s just say that long-distance relationship i was in is over.

all work and no play make amandoo a creepy…

creepsville, CO: where the Shining was filmed

creepsville, CO: where the Shining was filmed

…what?! i went to Colorado at one point, in the seems-like-forever-ago past (that always happens when you go through something intense, like a breakup- it seems so long and yet it can also seem so short, and both at the same time). and drove past this mansion where they filmed the shining.

truthfully, it was creepy. i can be creepy. but the phrase of my life right now really is more:

mostly play and not enough work (thereby not enough money and feeling useful and contented) make amandoo a sadsack, exacerbated by recent termination of romantic involvement what…

the good news for everyone is that i am going to devote more time to blogging (heard that one before!), but also VLOGGING!

my fave sweatshirt

like maybe in and/or about this very sweatshirt.

it’s hard for me to hone in on ONE sole topic to do. i value myself on being able to relate to basically everyone. i would love to do many many things as a job. i like health, music (creating and exploring it too), writing, and falling asleep). i’m going to fall asleep now, so much for this creepy blog post. kisses.

Posted in Intriguing, Interesting, or Impressive, Just Plain Crazy, L'Oventures (realationships), Lettin' Loose! | Leave a comment