Category — Intriguing, Interesting, or Impressive

I must have been in deep sleep because the time was before 9am, and I had gone to bed past 3…but that doesn’t matter. What matters is the horror that maybe some of you can relate to. The nightmare was awful. I’m teaching at a new school starting in less than a few weeks, and although I subbed there in June, it still feels a little scary and daunting. And dreams, of course, have the worst worries of your inner psyche interwoven in them.

In my dream, suddenly, I remembered it was my first day of teaching, and I realized I was late. Not just late, but absolutely unprepared- no clue what I was going to do. Part of the fear of not knowing what to do has to do with a lack of real planning this Summer, but probably moreso because when I jumped in as a sub, I had to teach a level four honors course, and the book was so confusing and difficult to teach. The chapter I went through with them was on technology, and one of the segments was called “What Will Life Be Like in The Year 2000?”.

But I was dreaming that my course had to do with ethics, so I was quickly coming up with ideas. I would have them write about themselves, and then a situation where their values were questioned. Something vague like that. And then I remembered it all had to be in French!

I know students have nightmares where they didn’t do their homework, or worse, didn’t finish a paper or project, and it’s a regular phenomenon in the academic world. But are students aware that a similar phenomenon can plague teachers. Often, for me, the nightmares are about getting up late for school. Which was funny, because in the dream I had a bunch of time discrepancies, and other small questionings, which eventually led me to jump up out of bed. And, mind you, early, on my last day of an actual vacation.

I was reassured that within a few minutes, another teacher friend from afar had written about a similar experience she had in July. Guess it does happen to the best of us.

So no, people, teachers do not have it easy all Summer. Sometimes it gets painful having so much free time, sometimes we have regular bad dreams about work, and I think it could all be balanced out by doing that prep and work throughout the Summer, but, alas, you see, that would ruin my Summer. Sort of.

In order to accomplish Goal #3 of my Summer Goals (for this week, at least), I’ve been working on this new page for my blog:

♥ It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Database of Awesomeness ♥

It has links to each of the five seasons of the awesome show, and an additional link for videos, fun, and other stuff.

I have diligently spent about 1.5 hours on it so far, so that’s pretty good. The other day I was watching Arrested Development and working on my Arrested Development quote database. Check that out!

I’m doing a pretty good job here with the blog. This is quality stuff that will bring in the readers!

The other goals, like running (ughh, it’s hot!), and debt-diggin, need some improvement. I may juice today, so that will take care of the #1 (though not ranked in order) goal.

I also have to remind myself that if I did nothing all Summer that would be ok. But. It certainly wouldn’t be ok with me and my expectations. So I’ll aim to not pretend that I have/set huge, high goals, and instead work from the motto of “It’s Summer. Doing Anything is Way Better than doing Nothing!”

I have an over-achievement problem. Alright. Anyway, stay tuned for updates and cool blog additions, maybe a change of format?! And to hear more about the stuff I’m willing to share with an unknown audience.

Catching up with friends is great (especially when they have the cutest baby ever! -besides my niecees obvi!) I made a Spinach pie to entice some friends over, we talked. We did stuff.

See, I look like I could have kids someday. Kittens and babies are 2 of my favorite things. But, having a child also means giving your life to the child. Which is noble, and worthy, but not something I want to do too soon.

And then look what happened!

The baby wanted me to teach her how to DJ! Holy Moly Awesome!

Video- check it:

Aww, her first DJ lesson with DJ Doo. That’s my name. Sort of. For now. We’ll see. Create the skill first, and the name will follow.

Went and saw a chillawesome monk who worked on this sand mandala – it represents the “Wheel of Life”

Pic says it all. As usual, I’ll say more…

Amazing. I got to talk with him too and he was splendid. So carefree. But you know it’s from all that meditating and mindfulness!

I gotta be honest, it was amazing. I also gotta be honest just this one time- I am backdating this blog because I (cough ehhem feel bad cough) about only blogging once in April!

Things are good. Really good. Yes, it would be easy for me to say that because I went to the Bahamas for almost a week! But I am headed back to school tomorrow and am still finishing up a bunch of planning and grading. What changed is the feelings I have heading back into school after a break. I actually feel relaxed, and not that nervous. Even though I did procrastinate, I did a great job working today because a) I knew I had to, b) I had some power and energy from break, and c) my life has changed. Just take a look at this pic of me:

Maybe I’ll get more up, maybe I won’t. I do care a lot about blogging, and want to create a wonderful blog, but school takes up SO much of my time. It just does. And then the other stuff in life. Like accomplishing things.

Over the vacation, my “accomplishments” were relaxing, sitting by the pool and/or beautiful ocean, and connecting and having fun! These are not things I normally see as big achievements, but they were!

My mind really has changed. Usually I’m extremely anxious, depressed, and doing anything but preparing to go back as it gets closer to going back.

This time, I think the vacation was so relaxing and wonderful, and the thought processes and reflections I had while there, have helped me recognize that in the grand scheme of things, everything is really quite great. Sure, I might not feel very well-prepared for tomorrow, but it will come and go quickly, and then I’ll be back in work mode. And I’m sure the students won’t be in the best shape as far as working goes. Games- I’m lucky to teach a foreign language for that reason.

I have a lot of further insights into what went on, and why it was so wonderful, and some of it is personal, some of it people might not be able to relate to- but that’s what a blog is for, right? Sharing your own subjective experience of life and your encounters?

I have so much to share. The overwhelming desire to have more flexibility in my work schedule is still a persistent push in my mind, but, alas, WHAT IT IS. This is the way it is, and it’ll do for now. And I’ll enjoy it.

Yeah! Had the best New Years Eve I’ve had in a LONG time. Rang in the new year at a wedding with a bunch of people I really like. And I feel very inspired, and hopeful for this year. 2009 was rough in a lot of ways. Personal struggles dealing with family issues and a lot of other stuff. A few deaths, including a friend I’d only known for a little while, and the secretary at my school, all lead me to realize how precious and fragile life is. But really this time.

Like, I will not forget that I have to prioritize and also not be too anxious about things. I need to let go and trust that if I put in a fair amount of effort, things will go well, or at least the way they’re meant to? I am in a new relationship! It’s crazy good, and I could not have really predicted it 2 months ago. So, I don’t like to say too much about my personal life, but I am thrilled about not making conclusions and not looking too far ahead.

Well, I will be looking ahead, to an amazing future, created moment by aware moment in the present. I have 2 New Years’ Resolutions.

1) Get Money.

2) No Coffee.

The second one is hard, but I figure it will work itself out eventually. The first is something I will need to be determined about. And creative, using all the available resources I have, and more. I’ll get into this all at some point in the near future, for now, I’m falling asleep due to the lack of number 2.

The Lord is Good. I have seen a lot of great stuff recently, maybe that’s just my focus changing because I am in an exciting place. What’s so new and exciting? Nothing, really, just I feel free and unlimited in potential for things to come. Stuff I will do/make, people I will interact with, life-changing isht I’m talkin.

My birthday was spectacular. Amazing. It started off good, got great, had a lull, then got better, and really culminated in a wonderful party with lots of loved friends and family. Just like life should be. I also got a few gifts and some quality adult beverages. I gave an impromptu speech, which was a little miss, a bit more hit. People played charades in my kitchen. There was some extreme yoga on an exercise ball. Some crazy stuff went on.

And I felt good. Not old, not unloved. Quite the contrary. Okay, I do feel old, but, I felt so loved it was sick. sic. i’m done with all this positivity for this post, let’s get it out into the world again. one last thing. i was at whole foods yesterday and decided to tell the lady it was my bday, and it turns out her son’s bday is tomorrow and her nephew’s is today- all these people born right near Christmas. that’s special. and it’s great. C-mas spirit is almost always a part of my bday, whether i have it or not, if i so choose, i can see it and exponentiate it.

“the best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud, for all to hear” -Buddy the Elf (what’s your favorite color?)

I tend to over-think things. And when I actually do get down to planning for teaching, I usually contemplate dozens of different activities and ways I could teach something. I guess over the years it would get better, but at the same time, for now, I cannot get in sync with simplicity and focusing on one activity to choose.

That makes me feel like a student! I’m always telling them to focus.

Simplicity. Not having several blogs I want to write on and feel a need to update and revamp. Instead having just one, or incorporating some of them more fluidly into my daily life.

Giving up my facebook addiction, realizing that social interaction is necessary, but not always at this time in my life.

Making money is important. I’d like to do more of it. I do what I can. I wonder if I’d enjoy a job that got you more money the more work you did. I don’t know. There certainly are perks to a teaching job, and even this one in particular. I do love my job, and I feel very lucky to have it.

As I’ve traveled away from the idea of simplicity, I realize how hard it is to live a simple life in this very technologically advanced, fast-paced world. You gotta keep up.

But you can make choices. Choose what’s important and focus on it. Organize, set goals, and, take your own advice, right, Amandoo!?

It’s a constant choice you make, and remake. It’s something that involves your awareness, and your determination. And after a while, it becomes easy to believe the glass is half-full.

Until it gets knocked over, spilled on the carpet, and the glass breaks.

It’s then that you must remind yourself to look on the bright side:
you didn’t like the glass anyway? you needed a good carpet cleaning? you’re not paying enough attention to something important?

Whatever the case, it’s way to easy to get complacent, and think that you’re set, and forget that you do still have to make choices all the time.

Yes, with time, and repetition, things get easier. But. It’s easy to slip and fall into a pit of despair.

Life is 90% how much you laugh realistically at yourself and 10% not paying attention to statistics.

You can quote me on that.

this is part of a non-series, as my blog is, well, non-secuator if you will. (spell-check won’t).

Part 1?

Part 3?

i don’t have much rhyme or reason to what i do, but i do like rhyming. i bought a rhyming dictionary today. and i no dubitubly intend to use it. fully. freely.

depression. a catch22 of sorts. if i’m depressed i’m no fun to hang out with, and if i don’t hang out with people i’ll get depressed.

luckily, in my world, mania strikes. and when it does, it strikes cute. like a fluffy kitten. similar to that terrible song “i get crazy” (what IS up with the radio today- do not even go there- to the radio that is)(but do go to that page and check out her song and her pic. she don’t look like i woulda thought, but boy it makes me happy that she looks like that!)

i’m makin’ sense, as always. so yeah, life. there’s my perception and experience of it, and others’. and my interpretation or ideas of what others are thinkin, feelin, and doin. and i do get crazy!

-the mainstream news sickens me
-Mr. Lif is soooo inspiring, listen to I Heard it Today
-Mos Def is also awe-inspiring, and got some great social commentary, check out “The Ecstatic” NOW

and now i’m feeling some slight pressure to donate to wikipedia (check it if you haven’t been there today, all you regular daily readers of my blog).

hey, i’m not knocking myself, nor my blog, it’s all good here. i just gotta get focused.

i did volunteer, and teaching is a form of volunteering and when i am useful to others, and not wallowing in my own why-me crapulence, i can get the good type of crazy, the good type of manic, where i get stuff done, and change the world.

hollywood stars are not who you really think you want to be, i know, right?!