It’s Hard Out Here for A Playa Sometimes

I have been through the hardest year of my life. I don’t know that for sure, worse things could happen (though it’s unlikely). I am referring to losing a ton of things. You name it, I had a big loss in any sector last year.

So maybe this year is the worst year. Well. It has been the winter of my discontent. And then I skimmed through “Winter of our Discontent” last weekend. It was good, a lot of details, some felt unnecessary, but that’s probably because I wasn’t focusing while reading.

My blog might have too many details, or never enough, of the right kind. But anyway, I’m here to talk about my feelings again, I think.

I think I’ll be a master of grieving, changing, and adjusting after this year of the aftermath. A friend wrote this in an email and I just loved the @#$% out of it. She’s going through a loss and/or just living life of/on her own.

“Adjustments feel adjusty. Which is to say they feel uncomfortable. I try to embrace the discomfort like when you have diarrhea or you feel nauseous- it’s really better once it smashes you head-on and you go through the horrible feeling of vomiting (out of whichever end is needed at the time). So much of life can be compared to smelly bodily functions.”

Yep. That is genius. I need to hang out with her more. But she goes to bed early. I think. I don’t know. You can’t just assume things about people. I started going to bed and getting up a little earlier. But. I get bored at night and want to go out, waste time.

I spend enough time alone that you’d think I was an introvert. And then I spend more time on top of that…alone! Maybe it’s part of grieving, maybe it’s part of shaping my future, maybe it is what it is!

What it is, folk. I’m just writing this as therapy. Writing can be therapeutic. It probably helps if you don’t share every little last thing that comes to mind, although, I like to do that sometimes.

Is there anybody out there? Ha. Gotta love Pink Floyd!

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