I guess if you’re awesome, and organized, and don’t procrastinate, or waste hundreds of seconds, even minutes a day on thinking about, or be all upset about it, then it might not take up ALL of you time, but teaching just takes up WAYYYY too much time. (Nice run-on sentence, eh?!)
I don’t think I have the right personality.
And a veteran teacher of several decades was complaining that she felt like a new teacher (working constantly) because she’s teaching a new class.
Or this other teacher, she complained about all the emailing, and grading, and work she still has to do each night.
I don’t have time for this! Or the energy! Sure, I like it some days, but most of the time I don’t. What it comes down to is I do not like it more than I like it.
But what else would I do? How can I find another job if I don’t have the time or energy? What could I do that would make me enough money?
And what if I did, I would, I could, have a different life. I know it wouldn’t be perfect, but I think I am much more akin to A LOT of other things.
The working in the evening thing really gets me. It’s a constant cycle of procrastination, hatred, mixed feelings, lethargy, apathy, anger, sadness, fear, distrust, oh…wait…..I’m kidding there a little.
But I just don’t think it’s good for my personality, or for this stage of my life. Maybe I would come back to it if I were older, married, and had some kids who were already heading to school.
And what if I tried a 40-hour-a-week job and hated it? Or felt that I wasn’t doing anything useful for the world?
And what if it’s other things in my life that cause my problems with getting schoolwork done?
All I know is, as a friend recently reminded me, this is no dress rehearsal. This is life. And I don’t need to be doing something I’m unhappy with.
That said, I’m happy with it some of the time. And I feel like I’ll get fired for writing this, haha. But…I just don’t think I can do it anymore. And if I’m not proactive, I will get roped into doing another year to give it a try. I can’t do another year. I can’t even make it through this one!
A Mad Person