Remember that awesome part in “Better Off Dead” when the mother serves up some blue raisin schloop? Then it goes and slurps right off the plate? I love that movie!
I just finished wasting over an hour on a whirlwind readabout: Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop, her marriage and its rumored disintegration, and a blogger who really has it out for “fishsticks” paltrow.
I eagerly signed up for Goop’s weekly newsletter after seeing her on the Tonight Show a few weeks back, touting its practical and environmental wonders. I like eating healthy, and travel, and “nourishing my inner self”, so I jumped on the boat.
Honestly, I mostly forgot about it as well. The email address I signed up for is my spammy account so there are a bunch of lists and sites I’ve signed up for (like the daily news in French) that I rarely read. I did read it once or twice, but was slightly depressed about her advertising of a detox cleanse I could never afford.
After my adventures in pointless research, I realized how stupid the site is for most everyday humans (and I had already had my suspicions due to this pricey fashion advice) and I will unsubscribe, if I have the motivation to even do that. I figure another less-than-positive blog review will hurt more than one less subscriber on the list.
To continue my adventure- who ever said Twitter isn’t a wonderful way of peeking into others’ lives?! I found other people who related to feeling poor and worthless after reading about all of these wonderful things she writes about that cost hundreds and/or thousands of dollars!
Here are some of my favorites:
A British woman writes: “gwyneth, I’m just not interested in your ridiculous tosh today. you and me are over.” (I had to look up tosh, and as I suspected, it is similar to rubbish. that’s grand!)
A woman from ‘beantown’ writes: “Reading GOOP. Why do I do this to myself?” it will likely make you feel bad about yourself, with few exceptions.
there are others, but i want to maybe focus on doing something actually productive, having wasted so much time reading about gwyneth and a possible boob job? gwyneth stealing the idea for goop from some beet lady?!
i like to think of myself as a pretty good person, but i’d be better if i had just a little more money. ha.
I did just find this quote from her, while doing even MORE research for this ‘article’. I like it for a number of reasons I’ve bolded: (May 2009)
“She tells Life & Style magazine, “It’s hard! Nothing is as good as it looks. Life is complicated, and there are always issues to overcome. Yesterday, he went to Australia, and I came here (New York); you have to accept that. We’re brutally honest with each other. Even if, God forbid, we weren’t together in 10 years or whatever, I think we’re like a family.”
also like the “I think we’re like a family” because that is just kind of weird to say. i mean, aren’t they family?! i definitely partially wrote this article out of jealousy at her richness. whatever. she’s decent. the site is, eh, alright, if you have a lot of money floating around.
i know i’m a decent person, because now i feel sort of bad. like, hey, she’s a human, it’s tough to be a celebrity, but then i remember the quote i read about her saying “f#$% the haters!” about blog criticism, and i’m like, hey, all’s fair in life and hollyweird-ness.
i’m bitter. and i do like the bitter taste of dandelion leaf in a juice, like the one i made last night. a girl can take small, steady steps.
p.s. i was finishing up reading about the detox program (and finding myself still experiencing that love-hate feeling) when i stumbled upon a girl named ally’s awesome comment:
“Frankly, this is a “lose weight through diarrhea” diet plan.
Going for a run is better than the runs, IMO.”
oh, humor! how you help remind me to enjoy life, and to remember the other people out there going through life in a realistic manner.