i will so often do illogical things, but i think a lot of humans are that way. is illogical synonymous with faults? i don’t necessarily think ’tis so. procrastination is very counterproductive, yet i do it all the time. the last few days i got done my work early (so i could watch movies because we got a netflix account), and it felt AMAZING. incredible! none of that anxiety, and i could enjoy part of my day. but i don’t know if i can do it very often. i guess i should make it way more of a priority than i’m letting on.
i also am drinking iced coffee, while being freezing. i could go find the mini electrical heater, or not drink iced coffee, but the amount of happiness it brings me is greater than my will to be warm. i guess. because i am not getting warm. and i really enjoy me a nice iced coffee. plain, with lots of cream.
oh well, i am a good person, and i feel content of late. i think it helps that i’ve been having so much fun watching movies. and i think my grandfather’s death has softened me a bit, like butter that loosens its molecules up a bit when you set it out on the counter to get ready for baking, or just for it to be ready to spready. life is too short to pretend i’m a thug. i mean- i teach french! that’s not very “tough”. and though i did come from the ghetto (wink, wink), i am a real softy underneath it all. and i love people. oh so much. i even love my students. a whole lot.