10 ways to spot emotional manipulators

Dr. Judith Orloff provides tips for how to spot emotional terrorists. The video has good points, but it a little creepy and weird. Whatever. Here are the types of behaviors of emotion-crazy people (I will admit which ones I’m guilty of at the end):

1) Whining- Always complaining about their problems in their life, “Why me?!”. Don’t let them get you acting the same way.
2) Guilt-tripping- When bad things happen, the emotional terrorist (ET) will blame you and try to get you to take more than your share of the blame.
3) Drama megalomaniac- Everything, even their ipod needing to be charged, is a huge ordeal to these people. Suggest a career in acting in B movies, and do not entertain their constant drama.
4) Verbal bombardment- talky talky talky. You can’t get a word in, and their endless waves of words wash away your energy.
5) “Helpless”- healthy people save being helpless for real trauma. These people try to get people to fix them after any upsetting situation.
6) Too nice to be true- Nobody is actually too nice to be true. Watch out for constant smiles and seemingly perfect people who can passively-aggressively zap away your energy.
7) Insulting- People like this, who try to belittle you, steal energy in a more visible way to outsiders.
8 ) Herding- Going to the mall on a weekend or being in a random large crowd can depress you and steal energy.
9) Crowding- People who get in your zone and push up into your energy supply. Get ‘em out of there!
10) Nitpicking- Remember the old “is the glass half-full or half-empty”? This person says it smells weird and is dirty, too. Every different little detail has potential to be wrong.

I might be guilty of verbal bombardment. It seems that way on the internet, what with me doing all this talking and people not being able to say anything back? People?! Bad joke. I also occasionally have a bit more “helpless” mentality than I should. Like in an on-and-off-relationship, if it keeps happening and I get upset over a breakup people are like “Girl who cried (breakup) wolf!”

I certainly had friends who were drama megalomaniacs and I would entertain their drama to fuel the fire without knowing it. I’ve encountered people from almost every category. I grew up with people who did some of them constantly.

That’s why it’s good to remind myself watch to watch out for in myself and others, especially if there are patterns that keep appearing in my relationships. Watch out!