living together before marriage- almost always a bad idea

although i am practically guilty of almost having engaged in this practice, i see the downsides of it loud and clear. and i’ve talked with people. they agree. i’ve got unhappy customer testimonials out the door, and i read another article saying ‘neigh, ’tis not the best of ideas’. first, here’s my view:

living together without the real commitment of marriage or even the promise of the possibility of that (ie engagement and the like) reinforce the lax morals of today’s society who makes a mockery of marriage. yes, there is a high divorce rate, but cohabitation pre-marriage shows higher divorce rates than not doing so.

i used to think it would be the most evil and immoral thing in the world, until i changed a lot of my life views and saw the other side. i see how it might ‘save money’ or stave off ‘loneliness’ but neither of these ideas truly pan out in the real played out situation of l.t.b.m.

i don’t like the whole lack-of-commitment thing, and i think it would take away from the excitement of getting married and moving in together. i also know that i like my own place to go, and if you’re dating someone (even if you’re sure that you’ll be together for quite a bit) just think of the chance that you might have a huge fight and need some space, or if you broke up?

i know i would feel like i had no place to go to to be alone, and my boyfriend would probably feel smothered. right now i live in a great set-up with awesome roommate/housemates and i pay less than i would if i relocated.

i also care what others think, and they would frown upon it (especially where i live right now i’d be sent out of town!), and i personally want to wait until i have a proposal and i ring before i give up my own personal living environment.

read this article: The Perils of Playing House from Psychology Today magazine and see what you think.

i love a good snoog, a good animal sharing, a good feeling i get from having someone to eat meals with (my roommates and i are never all home at the same time), but i know it’s smart and necessary for me to continue to live ‘on my own’ and i intend to do so until singledom-does-me-part=forever!

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One Response to living together before marriage- almost always a bad idea

  1. paola says:

    you know this is awful but i started reading this and then saw the word “stave”… and now all i can think of is “stave it off, 1 2 3, and now you can count to 3.” and i hope you know what i’m talking about because if you don’t then i just look like a loserfreak. more so.

    umm, welcome me back to the world of internet. thx.

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