Amandoo’s Handle of Realitumtum

as i reflect on 2006, i realize that more has happened than i could even begin to wrap up into a nice present-time, but i’ll make a few reflections that come to me in the minutes before i go begin the celebration for lil new 2007:

1) no one really knows what they’re talking about, but if you speak with confidence you will persuade many people and they will probably end up believing you or agreeing in some way (this applies to proust scholars as well)

2) these video game things are out of control- wii controllers flying into tv screens, the usual lines and riots for ps3s, but i did not know that people would go so far as to pay hundreds of dollars for an xbox 360 BOX or over a 1000 dollars for PS3 CONTACT INFORMATION. i also did not know i would become impressed by and borderline addicted to wii, after a brief visit with it over a three-day period at my sister’s house

3) on-again off-again relationships are called that for a reason, yet i still have hope for some sort of magical evolution that will overcome the odds

4) i am saturated with sarcasm, occasional but somewhat persistent melancholy, and incessant internet/network exploration, but am saved by humor (within and without), cute animals, the better or healthy and loving ‘on’ parts of number 3, and personal progress provided by private parameters

5) those social networking sites are getting out of control- myspace and the facebook in particular- and everyone gets to be as awesome as they want in their photographed and profiled lives, often with an accompanying decrease in actual physical social interaction

5.5) paola might be one of the only people who religiously reads my blog, at least, she is the only one who thankfully comments, until recently, the comment about the maggio’s experience, and a few random others, and i love her for it, whether she knows what love is or not (joke), and i will devote some part of 2007 to her because of it. (and possibly pay her when i’m rich).

6) caffeine is sadly much less effective for me (after working at starbucks) and i don’t even use the resources available to me at work, i turn to energy drinks from rockstar juiced (though no longer because of the sucralose), to red bull (and occasionally vodka (no, not at work)), to the even better (available only at WaWa) MachW (cheaper than and just as tasty as red bull), and now to ‘natural’ energy drinks from whole foods in MI, i hope i can get them here!

7) people like a lot of dumb and gross stuff. i saw jackass 2- eww. remember that blog/incident where paris hilton vomits while trying to sing her own song? britney and the you know whats or not (if you don’t know what i’m talking about we’re probably better friends that way for everyone), fergie ferg (just that name alone is gross). many other things i needn’t get into. it’s gross enough already. i feel more dumb for having existed in 2006.

going to night school (though still full-time and it being grad school (which should mean something over college)), does not mean that i will be more intelligent than in my university years- i am actually not even that intelligent anymore. i have to rely on more self-found information sources, and am often mystified by what people around me say in social situations. i may be more intelligent in a specific way (relating to education and certain fields in it), but i do not feel like a precocious and delicious young college student anymore. and more. more, like the fact that last year i wasn’t in college either, but i blame my non-intelligence then on recovering from insanity, and i was intelligent in a different way, which only my previous blogs could explain.

9) i have relied primarily on popurls.com for most of my random, and bizarre, interesting, funny, and whatever else stories i like. you should too. starting now.

10) this guy i know, maybe even my best guy friend, is somewhat of a technological genius, in my eyes, but with every genius of this sort, you will most likely also find a counterbalanced kind of introversion and foreign-to-a-person-like-me personality and/or life-view, and if this is a relationship component in which one is more of a ‘thinker’ and the other a ‘feeler’, well, the ‘feeler’ usually suffers more because ‘thinkers’ can rationalize feelings, but ‘feelers’ can’t easily understand a lack of their motivational life fuel in other humans

11)a) i realized first and foremost that i am confusing, not in a philosophical way, but in a simple linguistic way, because i can’t say things simply, i can’t just say something like a normal other person would, but i don’t care, because it makes people think more, or work harder to follow me, and sometimes not at all

11)b) this speech-pattern-impairment has the most negative consequences when i speak with others in a commercial or retail manner (ie ordering food or asking a store-information-type-question), or when interacting with someone who is all about language execution, and neuro-linguistic programming

12) changing simple things, like getting a different phone when you have one that doesn’t allow you to have conversations for longer than three minutes without dying, or wearing gloves on your hands because the sanitizer you are forced to use corrodes your precious finger skin, will drastically and profoundly change your life, in simple little ways (smiley internet face)

13) i hate ‘lol’, ‘rotfl’, ‘brb’, ‘omg’, and all that stuff more and more because more and more of it keeps appearing

14) things like ‘finger skin’ and other words i made up, as well as a plethora of strange, disgusting, or bizarre occurrences in this world, this time, make me happy. make life worth living. things like doing what i want make me happy. see amandoocabulary for more made up words.

15) i am getting worse and worse at doing schoolwork and that scares me, wanting to be a teacher and all, but maybe there’s a reason for it. just maybe. contact me for more information.

16) i spend so much more time on the internet than i used to, so much so that on new year’s eve, at 9pm, i am still at home, but it means nothing, because midnight is when my night begins usually. over time (in 2006 mostly) i have graduated to living a time-style like that of the nightlife of a Spaniard, but unfortunately i don’t sleep in as late in the morn, so i might be permanently sleep-deprived, and that explains me a little if you know me, and you know that drinking a MachW at 9pm is not unheard of, questionable, or absurd, not in the least

17) i have so, so, so many more, more important, more pertinent thoughts and observations from 2006, but i really need to get my night on, so, i will continue this next year, in 2007.

To 2006, you gave me a life in a blog, and sleep deprivation, and a kitten! therefore, i love you. very much. Thanks 2006.

yes!

pretty much this video says it all. when the fourth of july comes, i will certainly be thinking of those strange things and all the fine ladies.

oh, Christmas, holidays, or really any extended amount of time spent with my family,
something you'd never understand unless you were there, and even not unless you really know us.
I don't know how to explain it. The MI crew shared a wonderful Christmas with me, though lacking in
snow, the bizarre humor that comes about only with my family (for me) makes up more than enough.




highlights of christmas eve and morning:
-the cat at my sister and brother in laws smells my hair, starts hissing,
and later growls and meowuls like they’ve never heard
-taking pictures in which my mother is almost always either falling asleep
or scowling
-the picture of my mother where she’s starting to yawn, but you can’t tell
her apart from a screeching dinosaur, and how we howled almost like the
cat, some on the floor, some with bladder control issues, laughing without
breathing
(insert photo here = later)
-playing wii, on which you can make personnages of yourself, fool around
with the christmas pictures you just took of your family, or check your
email online (oh yeah and play awesome games)
-three types of meat for breakfast
-christmas eve dinner, where cousin gordon came over and said ‘wow, this
is the best christmas eve ever’, i can’t even begin to explain the things
we laughed about, but oh did we laugh, and spiked the eggnog with rum
-bloody mary’s for cocktails, and my mom pulls three-year-old wilted
celery out of who know’s where and says ‘we have celery!’
-reminiscing on all the dysfunctional, disturbing, messed-up childhood
memories
-so so sooo many more good times, but you just have to know my family, and understand
that we will spontaneously burst into song on several instruments at once, but they’re demented songs.

merry christmas to all and to all a good fight (boxing on wii fight)

sorry i am not writing more, or more interesting blogs...holiday cheer times though!

what i’m trying to say is, nowadays, with these ’social networking’ sites, everyone has innumerable chances to look hot, portray a super-sexy-fun-time image of themselves, and paint a pretty little picture of their presque perfect lives. what am i trying to say?

they’re hot. indeed. they have hot lil’ lives. and the pictures prove it. but how do they did it? my theory is this- society and the chillens have evolved to be hyper-ready for photo ops and hyper-aware of how cool or not cool they are looking at all times when a camera is present or is likely to appear.

nowadays everybody is in the race for the sexiest, cutest and oops-i-was-lookin-really-cool/hot-while-you-took-that-picture-of-me while drunk yet still sophisticated and/or elegant and i may or may not look aware of it?!

artifacts documenting this include, but are not limited to the fact that:

• some people put thousands of pictures up on their social networking interface (many of them with the same general theme involving, you guessed it, dranking, and oftentimes the pictures will resemble some sort of intimate slideshow into their minds, entire nights, and shirts or lack thereof)
• many times resulting comments on the photos will be:’i'm hot/you’re hot/we’re all pretty hot’, or ‘omg i can’t believe i (fill in the blank)’,or ‘eww i look sooo (plus or minus two o’s) disgusting (or some other word attesting negativity to the perchance mis-encounter with the photo lens at hand although often the contrary is the participants’ aim for desired viewer perception)

• and fill in the blank to your researching heart’s desire

to say the least, it’s disgusting*. disgusting for reasons too multiple discuss, but not limited to or including or excluding: ignorance, greed, fame, fortune, rage, jealousy, fear exploitation, joviality, splendor, constipation, denial, under-aged and/or minor participation, borderline admiration, disbelief, TMI, OMG, LOL, and WTF, to name a few.

to those who think this is a message condemning them, well, it might be directed towards you, and you are what you think about, or something of that manner, and to those who wonder why, well, i already listed my true motivation in writing this above (or not, but maybe somewhere, planted in the vine-like weeds are seeds of truth). to those who just like to have good, dirty**, often under-aged fun and like to flaunt these expeditions of (relatively harmless) merriment, i see that and will look at your pictures and have an appropriate response.
to the rest of you out there, being the lack of readers to my blog, you are indeed condemned until further notice.

photo used without permission, copyright back in the day when i was like you glamorous-moments-or-hours-of-life captured subjects (green beer- glamorous? you be the judge)
*ho, ho, ho, joke, joke, mostly joke
** please refer to christina aguilaerianeaie’s song ‘dirty’ or recognize society’s highly-prized idolized

p.s. you can rent me to be a photo shoot extra at your next party escapade ($75/hr).

hyperventilated about abstruse obtuse thoughts. like wanting to be perfected of inferiorities, seniorities, samples of simpy pit hits of tulips of pogo logos’ log bitten smitten kitten get in the long time been ben.

i sued a used to be me in a free speech liberty spout of doubt, a self clouded deluded intruded free-booted eluded contusive deducive. the last two are not true to throughout eternity’s spout of fountain mountain-climbing, i’m rhyming. yeah.

no.

i was ral pizzed about the bar tonight. month’er funker peace- someone was talking about freedom of speech when mine was breeched and bleached into a deleted second-sheeted piece of beat. yeah james is taming the maimed blame, makin the face complacent to your adjacent basement.

i’m done with this.

my favorite part of blogging is talking about whatever the froop comes to mind, but equally important to me is thinking that people will either find or just want to read this stuff.

well, i have a little google analytics tool that lets me know what people are searching for on google to come across my blog. i’ve had some really crazy, odd, bizarre, and even disturbing (to some) things come up as search terms.

but today’s tops it all and to you, i dedicate my blog.

the search term?

“cannot control poop crazy everywhere ps”

that’s what it said at first on the screen, which was crazy- and what about that ps? well, turns out that when i copied and pasted it into google, it was the beginning of the word psychology.

well, people are awesome. sometimes when i’m bored i will type something into google, but nothing that exciting.

just goes to show that weird things are more likely than this. i don’t know what i’m saying so i must go caroling. someone just came to the house caroling, like, a whole lot of people. it was cute. we’ll leave it at that, cute, and not creepy, because creepy denotes that i’m evil.

the cat is trying to eat a pen out of my purse. laugh. now she is biting a plastic band that is holding together a huge cardboard box of reams of printing paper. did i tell you she also snoogles the empty paper boxes? i also suspected earlier tonight that she is the one who bit off part of the rubber on my laptop charger. she crazy.

and how about this—did you ever want to toilet train your cat?

i can’t train mine here in PA, because she would play naughtily too much. but in MI, one of my cats did start privately using the bathroom on his own, and my mom walked in on him one day and said she felt a little awkward, mostly because of the look he gave her.

yeah well, it’s a nice thought. awkward as fruit cake, but pretty sweet. like fruit cake?

addendum to the meeting= cat is trying to eat tacks. this just in, cat eats tacks off the wall. it’s cute too.

(UPDATE: after receiving a kind direct response from the owner I went back and had a wonderful experience at Maggio’s, for the new review, go here!)

*************************

boo. boo to you Maggio’s. boo hiss.

Today my friend and I decided to go to Maggio’s in the shopping plaza where The Fresh Grocer used to be on the Pike in Southampton, and it’s not like I can even say we got the worst service ever, because we basically didn’t even get served.

The hostess or whatever seated us and even brought us water, so we thought we were cool, until a few minutes pass. And a few more. We start trying to make eye contact with any server that walks by. 15 minutes have passed. I get up and start to try and find someone, and Mrak even waves his menu, trying to get someone to pay attention to us customers.

Eventually we got the lady that had walked by a few times to stop, asked her if anyone was going to serve us, and then she muttered something about checking and left, no apology. She came back a few minutes later, said she was going to get us started, took our order, and told us that our waitress would be with us.

‘our waitress’ came over, talked us out of ordering two salads like we had (”they’re really big”) and again, no apology of any sort.

when she came back with our salad, it was sort of big, but not to us salad lovers. the pizza was good, but i asked for more water and did not get it. mrak orders a woodchuck draft and she goes off, i thought to get them, but later another woman comes with a bottle of froopin cider, and no one brings me water.

later when ‘waitress’ comes back and asks us if we need anything, i kindly remind her that i would like some (Q#$M^#$L%NTLKWEVML’in) water, and she leaves to go flirt with the cooks. we finish eating after a bit, and STILL NO WATER.

Maggio’s, why do you hate your customers so much, why?!?! Why.

(like i am)

i just got up from a nap and i feel very tired and unmotivated.

so take a look at these odd odd buildings and then make sure to check out these bizarre people.

you into the pursuit of happiness? i’m not. i just don’t have time for it anymore.

kidding. today i saw my friend, her husband and baby, and the baby smiled (she’s 11 weeks old) and it made my life.

so back to boredom- make some ginger ale tonight- and your life will never be the same.

did you hear about allen iverson? i have nothing to say about that. did you hear about inhumane actions involving microwaves? how can people be so cold (or hot)? bad joke!!!

unfortunately my bloggrand finale worked, but it provided private personal information (ie my name) that could lead to serious stalking. i’m just into light stalking)

bye!

believe it or not that song up there about my lips is actually ’santa claus is coming to town’ (just slow it down at the end). what do you think about jesuslessmas? meaning, the de-Christization of Christmas? meaning- what is up these days? i understand the importance of recognizing that other people celebrate other holidays, but i am not going to take the Christ out of Christmas. and i won’t let others do that either.

what did i just say? i don’t know. did it have anything meaningful in it? probably not, really most likely not.

seriously, though, my lips are SO DRY. they cracked in a weird hurty spot with an ouchy type feeling of empty soreness. i can’t explain it though. (and yes i have been drinking lots o’ water).
is anyone doing anything exciting tonight? because i am not. i might even do my homework. but especially i would pretend like i’d do it and waste a whole lot of time instead. i really have a hankering for some freestyling.

did you know that fuki plum wine is really krunktop? get yo self sum tahday.

for the love of pancakes, get me the petunia out of here. my head i mean. peace.