Amandoo’s Handle of Realitumtum

it’s always time for some “Borat speaks to CNN” video. i cannot wait until the movie comes out.

rats. my finger split open again from the dryness of all the chemical detergentagents i must work with (not many, so what, am i the only one with sensitive skin here?!?!).

this weekend i went to a halloween party and it was a pretty good time. last minute i struggled to find a costume and had some colorful dot fabric so i decided to go as a rainbow.

when i got to the party and told a friend i was a rainbow, they said ‘oh, i thought you were those candy circles you ate off the paper’. i agreed, debated on the name the whole night (they’re ‘candy buttons’ not dots!), and had a much better time pretending i was creative and not weak for having barely a costume. but hey, my friend in this picture barely has a costume.

oh and in case you were thinking of falling asleep safely, beware the turtle army mutant secret weapon in the background who shall remain nameless for the time being…

i’m bored. and it prevents me from doing anything productive (which would i guess probably cure the boredom). but probably not. homework especially.

did you want to know how an etch-a-sketch works? i like things that tell you things. for example:

How stuff works: How stuff works homepage.

When you want to do something: So you wanna homepage.

Other places I like are wikihow, (for things like ‘how to give healthy treats for halloween) ask.com (search enginey) and about.com (lots of info about everything, i like it for language resources).
Maybe all this boredom will eventually propel me to do something worthwhile. At least I have to do my homework now/soon. I have to if I want to survive. Well, I better go steal the plastic bottle from the dog before she eats too much plastic.

Final FYI- did you remember how to spell canceled? yeah it only has one ‘l’.

Suggestions will be taken now and later, so start now.

tis better to remember the past fondly than to keep trying to live in it or recreate it. let’s share some of our best and brightest times and ties that bond us to our lives:

1. any time my cat(s) did anything cute
2. that one time i snuck out with my friend in high school and we got caught by the police at the playground where we met her ‘boyfriend’ at the time and i fell and hit my butt really hard and we got in big trouble for being out past the city ‘curfew’ (come to think of it we weren’t in our city and that’s why we ‘didn’t go to jail’ said the cop- whatever- i should have just run)
3. thousands of memories from france and anything associated with it
4. getting my ears pierced when i was 8, getting my nose pierced when i was like 22, and the infections that led me to take it out (plus the whole it being too popular and pervasive thing)
5. if i had to choose good or bad memory i’d say college was a good memory. great even. the good and the bad, the worst of it- it was all very worthwhile and memorable.
6. well these are random and boring to some (myself included), so i invite you to reminisce with me on any remarkable thing from your past. do it.

i hope it doesn’t snow soon. happy almost halloween.

batdoo. sometimes you find good stuff, sometimes you don’t know how you feel about life.

well i will put aside my personal angstew and tell you this: snoop is so gangsta he don’t even let the airports get to him. it makes me really happy that he would do that.

way to go India for legally granting women the right to not be raped by their husbands! wow. i just don’t know about some of the stuff in that article.

i am wearing pants way too big for me right now. i work at starbucks and feel personally responsible for it. not this, but for working there.

(malachite is my favorite gem/rock if you are interested in wooing or pursuing me)

well the good thing about not expecting too much of myself is that it prevents breakdowns. or something. i expect much more from this damned blog though.

i’ve heard that three for tea is a good book. i do want to read that. i shall go play music now in the hopes to practice the old cello that i never play but love in the sideways of my minds.

well, at least i dreamt i was in France last night. it’s always disappointing to wake up the next day though.

tis all for now: Jayden James Federline is born, i can rest.

(i hate it when my dramatic blogging is interrupted by a real person who is bound to make my blogife realistically less dramatic- come on! (unless i lie, and i could take that up, since i have taken up hatred (you know they say to ‘do something different’ after heartbreak))), because now all those ‘feeling’ things have somewhat subsided or they have a different perspectivies.

okay. i have never screamed like that while crying. is that normal? creative? maniacal? definitely un peu psychotic. i was seriously having a time. and when you ‘lose’ your ‘best friend thing’ (or at least you’re supposed to stop talking to them, hanging out with them, and thinking about them (but you sort of seem to can’t (or is that just me)))

it feels so empty when you’re alone and empty and all you have is an empty heart and emptiness in your ‘home’. i bet i could make this really preciously sad, oops, wait, i meant pathetically sad for the next few paragraphs! cynicism is more endearing than sensitivity (so i think/hope/suspect (for my friendships’ sake)).

as the Fresh Cut Salads would say “Why do I feel so lost and alone [and empty]?”

well i have proved many things, and now that i can’t tell you why i can’t say them, i will get back to my education, which has been dragging along like a pathetic piece of poo (sike, that’s me, and my education is what’s carrying me ALONG!)=’$'=’!', yes the homework part of education is always a little lacking, but even moreso now with my woes and throes of excuse (ie numbness does not aid productivity unless you have mastered it (or not i might just be doing my own type of crazy philosophizing)). well at least it’s time to stop pretending i’m sharing this with the world when it could very well just be the computernet.

‘hop on the bus gus, don’t need to discuss much’ etcetera

current mood= listening to= “emptiness inside of emptiness doesn’t equal not such” (by who else (okay it’s late- me))

i did get a good suggestion= walk in the forest and just don’t think

love me, love me, say that you love me, (even if i don’t say informational things anymore) more lyricscetera

death. destruction. desolation. dismay. disappointment. darkness. doom. dreary. dead. dying. die. dismal. danger. dumbfounded. depression. distance. dysthymia. damper. darn. dark. dagger. dang. dragons. disgust. damn. disguise. dirty. drained. doubt. dim. dropped. drunk. dumps. dunce. different. diffident. dust. devil. dumped. doom.

wow this is hilarious- some tourists who don’t get treated well in paris might even suffer PSYCHOSES!!! wow. i’d say try speaking french and then get yourself checked out for other innate psychological problems.

you know school and work or whatever take up the most of most people’s time, but relationships and emotions, especially when in turmoil, can become a surprisingly large focus, or distraction. okay fine, if you’re me. other people too, not so much those thinking type people. have you checked out your myers-briggs personality? i really leally like it!

come to think of it, PLEASE TAKE THIS TEST AND LEAVE YOUR RESULTS AS COMMENTS ON THIS POST, because i’d be very interested THANKS!

I tend to be an ENFP every time I take it, but the percentages vary.

another WOW- ‘the Google’ from the mouth of our ‘President’

and finally, i have not cried yet today, but that might be because i was at work all morning/day and then i had some other stuff to do. on the other hand, i’ve had quite a few odd emotions, minor death threats made under my breath (unwarranted and unrealistic of course), and some real emptiness, but i did have a nice dinner with my dad, stepmom, and twin half-siblings. that was cute. abbie had planned out her halloween costumes from this one until she’s like 12 (she’s 5!). cute times.

okay well now i’m depressed (i have to do homework) and i suck. at living. at being hot. enough. and enough.

(if you need things to end like a fairytale, i’ll end my blog with this: surprise?!?)

well, i love you. unless you’re a creep. goodbye already, for now…

when i wasn’t sleeping last night for many an hour i read some top headlines at ‘diggy’ diggity digg.com dot com, and i liked what i saw, the likes of this for instance: are fathers necessary anymore? and sobriety: what’s the point? and there are a few others but i got distracted because though i was sort of making fun of the titles, the drunk one actually intrigued me, so i read it, and then forgot what i was typing and had to cry.
drunk people suck. it sucks much more when i’m one of them. (champagne is fun until the sixth glass)

well today i’ve been mostly crying, wasting my time crying, and feeling like a cry baby. and i won’t tell you why.

but as a human, i feel like i owe it to you people to tell you straight up that ‘important sandwich’ by the fresh cut salads is the best song/video combo i know of. please check it out.

if you just broke up with someone (and are sad about it) or got broken up with, i have a few suggestions:

• make some salmon with fruit salsa because cooking is an activity and it will probably taste better and cost less than eating out. plus you’ll be alone if you eat out. (and that’s just downright embarrassing and unacceptable)
• read stuff other people have written about this feeling blue issue
• 
• look at picture after picture of kittens. it never fails (even if you don’t like cats) also find an animal that doesn’t have rabies and see if it will hug you.
• start looking really grood. use the red puffy eyes as a new look for the fall and add some pink eyeliner, and i’m sure you can do something about that tear-stained hair look
• don’t continue to hang out with the ended relationship person just because they have internet access and you don’t
• take a bath. if you can’t take a bath then boil up some water and splash it on yourself gingerly
• whatever your impulse is you should probably do the opposite

and so these are some random, humorless, unorganized suggestions because i am lacking humor. and lastly, watch all three seasons of arrested development in a short amount of time, and read deep thoughts by jack handy and then make your own. i think you might be surprised at the amount of dark and sarcastic humor you can muster up in a time of gloom and despair.
have a good night! (and call me please. i won’t want to hang out, but please call me- my number is 345-9857-0298222 (international))

is hate a good substitute for love? say that someone is trying to live a life, let’s just say an average life, for safety’s sake, and we’ll mention the love. remember we’re just hypothesizing your average person; now add this detail that love is a focal point in their life. they try to, oh you know, love people, and make decisions based on what some might call ‘compassion’ and/or a mixture of care ‘n love (like sweet ‘n lo but so fewer calories and leaves a much better taste in your mouth). the love is channelled in a number of places including random spontaneous human combustion bouts of love of strangers. and there does exist a main channel of heterosexual (i.e. “relationshipal”) “love” (”let’s call it”) feeling direction (a person, let’s call him a man)9and let’s say it’s reciprocal up until the end of this sentence at least)(physically this sentence fools not the time this sentence was written!)

and what if all of a sudden, that heterosexual channel tells the fine lady (new detail- yes she is fine alright), that he has other channels of love, little “canals” let’s call them, for other ladies, fine or not, they are other ladies, and they are not this fine lady in question. he probably does “love” the fine lady, but just a tad not enough. not enough for anyone to lead respectable lives with anyway.

trivia point focal!- narrow your thoughts to this FL’s response- if she tells him it’s “over” and then he confirms that it’s “over” through the aforementioned vocal narration of “love” “canals”, then what is the FL to do!?!?

and the bridge came tumbling down? or was it “and the chumbly wumbly bear came tumbling down“. back to the beginnin- is hate the new love? let’s just say she tried it and she liked it.

FL puts this out there from her life experience: hate and hurt are just a few letters away, take hurt, minus the ‘ur’ and add an intermittent ‘a’ and ‘e’, and you’ve successfully turned hurt into hate. and as her wise friend once said to her (only once so listen close), but isn’t hurt just truth backwards and minus that extra ‘t’? this profound exchange led them both to profess that they had no idea what they were talking about.

so in conclusion, hate really might be the new love. deserved and appropriate, it can always have a place in the nook of a heart. right up there. next to what once was called “love”.

the precious end.

my recent mention of the energy drink cocaine got me reading all of this stuff about the politics behind the controversy, someone made a good point, think of the ever-exalted Paris Hilton and her behavior! it’s true peepz, kids know what’s up. so anyway, i was surprised and pleasantly so, to see that cocaine energy drink has only just a little bit more than a grande cup of starbucks coffee- that stuff is lethal!

woohoo for starbucks!!!