Amandoo’s Handle of Realitumtum

i am sad to say i did not snap a picture of the beach tag lady in time when at the NJ beach now two weekends ago. because i cannot accurately use words to describe the way her sinewy body shone new muscles and tendons with every movement of every step- she was made of muscle and bone and i wondered whether her skin wasn’t just an illusion. she probably lives off of beach tags, full of fiber.

similarly i did not succeed in taking a picture of that girl in the car at ’south of the border’, enshrouded in a mess of bags and stuffed animals, still, crammed in the trunk of the car, with a sad, sad look on her face. that was probably a little scarier.

what do you think about this?!?!? what sort of ignorance is swimming in your dasani?

i am singing in a friend’s wedding this weekend and i’m a little scared. i have also been playing a little music in a secret life which probably won’t continue unless continually motivated.

MORE! ! yes

here are several woops in a row:

parents trying to teach kid a lesson end up without a kid anymore

here’s to thinking all that homework is helping the kids

and some good ol’ “auto” blundering

in better news i’ll share that i am 12,457,440 minutes old, and i share a birthday with diane sawyer, how about you?

can’t say i’m very organized about all this stuff but i hope to become so and thus.

life is discombobulating when you learn upsetting news…

moment of silence.

i just read an article from the best of craig’s list about fat-free pringles with olean and it was gross. beyond gross. i just didn’t think that stuff was around still.

instead of eating stuff you can’t even poop out, let’s try drinking more tea and eating more greens.

yep. good stuff. today it’s dark. i awoke at 6am to go in the hot tub and ‘watch the sunrise‘ but it didn’t work because there was no sun. hehe!

i’m hungry and i used to minor in psychology but that didn’t necessarily make me happy. living makes me a random person. a toast to life and fun times.

in 1911 Niagara Falls was frozen. cute huh! imagine what it would be like to have lived then. terrorism? doubt you’d hear an utterance or suggestion of it. i read some good and some bad news, mostly bizarre.

bizarre that i witnessed my katten jump up several feet high on the curtains, paw her way up, and bat at or just plain eat with her mouth a moth- she has amazing accuracy and astute analysis of acrobatic accommodations necessary for moth catching and eating. i didn’t spray her with water either because i was too enraptured. (she obviously has become pro at this when home alone)

today i helped markface get some waste veggie oil from franconi’s. i hope to get my diesel beamer back and in action to get a conversion sometime and then i could really not buy gas. it’s always funny to see people’s reactions- one guy came out from another store in the strip mall and really did have both an amused and bemused expression on his face. when he ended up finding out what it was all about he enjoyed that much more, but was still probably a little perplexed. it’s an elaborate process and a good time except for occasional boredom *and always anticipate spills*.

carlabean and i will very soon move into our appartment- hopefully. not exactly sure. but we sure did talk about over 101 things we could do together to make money. so i’ll start a new section up with that in it. prepare for mucho more stuff to be hitting this blog up- new everything, some good ol’ top tens and listies? and a reminder of my trip to the beach with beach tag lady…coming soon….

talk about onspiring! i was at my good friend’s baby shower the other day and i met up with a recently married couple of friends whom i had given a gift attached with a note saying i’d also like to take them out to coffee or maybe a meal or something- long story short we did it the right way- planned a date there and then and followed through (so that’s how people hang out other than randomly by chance!). it was an utter success.

the only complaint is that i talked about myself and my life a lot, but since there were two of them as one couple, it was kind of like i had to talk twice as much? no? well this is my blog and so i continue. ha.

it was just refreshing to ‘catch up’ if you will! catch a bottom’s up. i discussed my quack attack and they discussed newly married life and just about anything in their life and it was interesting because i hadn’t talked to people like that in a while. and we ate delicious vegan chinese food in the meanwhile.

a crazy man also came into starbucks today and was ranting and raving about how evil our boss is; scary, exciting, just another day at starbucks, and we had to call security. grood times as well.
sort of.

i feel good about life overall, nothing to complain about (or nothing i will bother to). my fortune was one i forgot so i will make one up:

someone else made that up so i definitely think it’ll come true! woot toot!

would you agree that you can rig an election? i have no response to this so as not to sway the masses (i also did not even finish reading the article).

i just thought i might try to act really smart and intellectual and worldly, and why not wordy, to give you a better view of who this blithering blogger is:

now i believe this library is in the Netherlands and i’m not sure why it didn’t make it on my ‘to see’ list when i went there.

’tis a reason for return travel. i just read this article on keeping your desk tidy but i will not include a reference link because it was a little boring and assumed everyone is into transferring their life onto an electronic device or something! instead i’ll suggest this: this may or may not be an article

i’m kind of in a hurry to get to sleep and in more of a hurry not to get into mentioning anything about my life of late- other than this- GET THE FRESH CUT SALADS ALBUM IT TASTES BETTER THAN SALAD! (hugs!)

in other mighty news the fresh cut salads’ new cd vitamin sea is available for only $15. beyond worth it!

snakes on a plane? personally i will probably save my 9 dollars for going towards school books or a car or my new appartment- but if you are considering it, take these two things into consideration: it has samuel l. jackson in it and it inspired some kids to make a bizarre movie that’s probably just like the real ’snakes on a plane’ one (only worth watching once, if that).

if you’re not going to watch it you might not know how to defend yourself, so, in closing, let this help you:

(not to mention the inspiration it has inspired in moviegoers)

lastly: is snakes on a plane a life-changing movie?
a) yes definitely
b) no not really

today my boss tells us she has a very appalling story and i thought it maybe had to do with my shore trip from this weekend (we thought someone had died one night because there were helicopters, police boats, and police vehicles patrolling a few hours late one night) but no, alas, it was about something so gross i do not know what to eat anymore. ever. i’m sorry (and not sorry to share). i can’t get into the details- she told us them as she has an insider scoop.

well scoop a loop indeed. in las vegas it’s now at least illegal to sleep near public defecation but i don’t understand because did you know that fecal matter is in fact everywhere?

i am certainly sick from all of this, but relieved to say medication, as usual, is helping the children. oh, you know, i’m a little biased.

a summary  or review of what my visit to the Abington Dental Excellence office turned out to be like:

-the first time i went the dental hygienist seemed to be under the weather
-two weeks later i returned to have a whopping six cavities filled, and the receptionist was still sort of sick- but we’ll get to that later, as it is the best part of the experience

now, keep in mind, they were really quite nice so i mean no harm against them personally, but professionally, on the other hand, you be the judge:

-CNN was on when i came in, this later spurred a somewhat uncomfortable discussion topic over my head and will come in again later in this blog
-the dental hygienist was doing a somewhat careless job of suctioning my tongue- it hurt and even pinched a few times, and after the novocaine wore off it was bloody and tender. thanks.
-while working on the cavities, a drill bit thingy came loose and i had to try and spit it out, unsure of what was going on, numbed, as they yelled and screamed at me to keep spitting
-no joke: it came out a second time but i was an old pro by then
-the dentist had to ’sand down’ the cavities at least four times and asked how they felt but i wasn’t sure. it was bad. i had to go back two days later when i found my mouth could not close properly and it hurt to bite and chew because of uneven filling overflowing on my teeth
-towards the end (remember CNN?) when the doctor was using that scary blue light machine (with no shield) to seal my cavity i noticed he was watching tv…and…it started SLIPPING and then it FELL on my tongue! and he just took it out, like, ”oop! guess it’s done! now what was that reporter saying about liquid explosives?!?!”
-when i told him one of the teeth still felt weird he told me it was probably my old cavity, though i knew they had removed that one and refilled it for some reason

and the number one reason i’m writing about this outrage-

the dental hygienist sneezed on me. without a mask. not once. TWICE.

that’s right.

there i was, all vulnerable and open-mouthed and i got sneezed on by people i’m supposed to trust. and why i’m so upset? i have a cold now and sore throat, for the first time, in well over a year.

so thank you dentist. thanks. what was that? you want me to refer a family member to you guys? i’ll make a referral- for people to go somewhere else!!!

those fresh cut salads shone brightly like a 400 watt metal halide lightbulb last night at their SOLD OUT show at the Tin Angel.
the sheer power of the beauty of the glory of the magnificence of the magnet fences and the, yeah, you know exactly what i’m talking about. right?!?!

(je-jo made that pic from flick)

HOWEVER! if you were not at the show, nor had you even been to a show?!? you would know nothing of it.

now buy their cd. now. i mean it. you know what i’m sayin sayin talkin bouty?

their show was so entirely everything good you could possibly think of to put here. yessuh many compliments time. they surprised me, a loyal and even intercepting follower, by baffoozling me into realizing that they were actually something better than any of us could have ever put together from all of our fantasies about how good they could be. they took what they had and flaunted it like a deliciously cute little puppy with a giraffe halloween costume walking/running a race for a cause, that can barely finish because it has so many precious things to do along the way.

and now there is nothing more flattering i could say.